


If They Only Knew

by GettingByWithALittleHelp96, Wheretheshadowsfall



Series: If They Only Knew [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-06-07 14:16:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15220967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GettingByWithALittleHelp96/pseuds/GettingByWithALittleHelp96, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wheretheshadowsfall/pseuds/Wheretheshadowsfall
Summary: you never imagined that your life and your friendship would get to this point. You aren't supposed to fall in love with your best friend, but when you start to fall for Rob, trying to fight those feelings becomes the hardest thing you've ever done. Do you risk your friendship and tell him how you feel? Or do you keep your feelings a secret, and let things continue the way they always have been? Even if that means it’s at the expense of your heart?





	1. Love Isn't Fair

Throughout your life you had, had many friends, but you really only had one best friend. Rob. The secret you were keeping however, was that you were actually in love with your best friend. You knew nothing would ever happen between the two of you, but yet, you still couldn’t stop yourself from falling for him more and more, every day. 

You and Rob first met back in high school, and even though he was a grade older than you, your paths would cross often. Sometimes you would even find yourselves hanging out with the same group of friends and before you knew it a friendship had been created.

The two of you lost touch during your senior year, when he had gone off to college, only to be brought back together a year later when, as luck would have it, you started at the same school he was attending. That was when your friendship really started to grow. You started out only having a class or two together, but with every passing semester the number of classes you shared grew. Not too long after that, you started hanging out after classes, also starting to notice at all the interests you shared at the same time. You both liked the same music, the same movies and by the time your second and third years started, you were even sharing a dorm. 

As Rob finished school, the two of stayed close and when it was your turn to graduate, life once again put you and Rob together, when you found an apartment building in L.A close to your new job, that Rob had just happened to pick for the same reason. 

By this time, you were the best of friends, spending all but the time you were at work or sleeping, together. In the mornings, whoever was up first had the job of going to that little coffee shop around the corner and bringing the other coffee and in the evenings the same rule applied. The one who got off work first, had to pick up dinner from a new take out place to try.

You didn’t know why, but you and Rob had a unique connection, and while others came and went from your life, Rob was the one person who always remained. He was sweet and shy, with a touch of awkwardness. He was also, the most loyal person you had ever met and for as long as you had known him, none of those things ever changed. It might have taken you a long time to realize exactly why he was always in your life, but you had always known that you wouldn't've had it any other way. 

For years, you tried to talk yourself out of what you were feeling, but one day shortly after your thirtieth birthday, you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep it to yourself any longer. 

It was the night of Rob’s first Louden Swain show and you were over at his apartment, helping him get ready. He asked you to pick out an outfit that you thought he would look good in and while he was in the shower you rummaged through his closet, eventually deciding on a white short sleeve shirt, a black tie and a pair of jeans. His dream was always to become a rockstar, and have a band that he could go on tour with and now that it was all starting to come true, you were so happy for him that you didn’t mind playing his stylist for the evening. 

“Did you find something?” he yelled from behind the closed bathroom door.

“Nope! It’s a lost cause Robbie. You just don’t have anything fit for a rockstar.”

Opening the bathroom door, he came out with nothing but a towel on. “You just can’t help but to be a smartass, can you?”

You tried to form the words to answer him, but nothing came out. It was not a new concept, that he was an attractive man, only getting better the older he got, but nothing could’ve prepared you for how he looked still wet from his shower, with nothing but a towel covering his muscular frame and boy, did he have some of the best arms, you had ever seen on a man. 

“Are you okay?” he asked startling you. 

“Yeah,” you replied, with a nervous chuckle. “I guess I just zoned out there for a second.”

Shaking his head, he reached down and grabbed the clothes off the bed. “I told you it was a mistake staying up so late last night.”

Before you could try and protest, he had taken his clothes into the bathroom and shut the door behind him and you cursed yourself for not stopping him and coming clean right then and there. 

A couple minutes later, the bathroom door flew open again, and Rob walked out, completely dressed with the black tie hanging loosely around his neck. “So how do you I look?”

Walking over, placed yourself in front of him and began to work on straightening out his tie. “You look adorable, but yet sexy all at the same time. As a matter of fact you look so handsome that I’m sure you could absolutely suck at singing and no one would care.” 

“You think I suck at singing?” he asked with a pout.

“I didn’t say that. I said you were so handsome it didn’t matter,” you teased, as you finished tying his tie. 

As he turned to examine himself in the mirror you could tell he was still pained by what you had said.

“Awe, Rob come on!” you exclaimed. “I was joking! You are an amazing singer and I know the second you get out on that stage you are going to turn into the rock God that we both know you are! Besides there are three other guys in the band, if they don’t like you they are bound to like one of them.”

“Alright!” he growled, turning towards you and raising a finger to scold you. “You’re not helping!”

You couldn’t help but start laughing. He always looked so cute when he was trying to act angry.

“Okay, Rob,” you said, bringing your hands up to the side of his face. “Take deep breaths. Everything is going to be just fine. You are amazing, the guys are amazing, and people are going to love you. All of you!”

He gave you a smile and you continued. “Wait a minute! why am I the one comforting you? The minute you get all hot and famous, you’re going to forget all about little old me.”

He shook his head. “Nope, never going to happen. Our relationship is the only thing good in this world and we can’t let anything change that.”

“Yeah, that's what you say now anyways.”

Instead of saying anything, he just wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling you in close. Once again, another moment came and went that you could’ve told him but didn’t, and you hated yourself for it.

“You are my best friend,” he said pulling back. “Nothing is ever going to change that.”

Placing a quick peck on your cheek he reached down and grabbed his guitar. “Plus I have to keep you around, now that I know you can dress me up and make me look so hot, I’m going to use your skills to help me find a hot date.”

You forced out a laugh.”Well you will definitely get some girls looking like this.”

This is why you could never tell him. You were his best friend and the fact that he just told he wanted to use you to get a hot girlfriend only meant that he didn’t see you as anything more than that. 

As you grabbed your bag and followed him down the hallway, you saw how confident he was. All of his awkwardness and shyness seemed to have completely faded away, even if just for the moment and you realized that you had to push your feelings aside. He loved you, as a friend, and you knew if you were going to keep him in your life you were going to have to get use to just being his friend.


	2. The Slightest Thing Will Do

As soon as the concert ended you went backstage to look for the guys Rob looked like a total different person up there on that stage. He was more confident than you had ever seen him, and somehow that made him even more attractive, but most importantly he was doing what made him happy and that was what really made the difference. 

“Guys!” you exclaimed, as you walked through the corridor to meet them. “You were amazing!”

Smiling from ear to ear, Rob held out his arms, inviting you in for a hug, which you wasted no time accepting, but as you started to walk towards him you couldn’t help but notice just how sexy he looked with his shirt and hair dampened with sweat and his tie hanging loosely around his neck.

“Stop it!” you said to yourself. “I need to stop letting him get to me! I have to stop letting him make me so weak!”

“So?” Rob asked, pulling back to look at you. “Do you really think we did good?”

“Dude, we rocked!” Stephen answered, playfully punching him in the arm 

Rob turned back to look at you, this time with a serious look on his face. “Did we?”

“Of course you did! People loved you,” you replied with enthusiasm. “They can’t stop talking about you guys out there! 

Letting out a giggle, he swooped you back up into his arms, twirling the two of you around in a circle. “I can’t believe we did it!”

The longer your hug lasted the more your mind started to wander, but really there was nothing wrong with wanting to hug him, was there? Your best friend just achieved one of his dreams, you should want to reveal in the moment a little. 

“Alright you two break it up,” Mike said, walking up and trying to insert himself in between the two of you. “You can’t keep our number one fan all to yourself Rob, it’s not fair.”

Rob and Mike started laughing as you just rolled your eyes. “Alright, well how about we all go out and celebrate, so you all get the chance to hang out with your number one fan? Drinks on me of course.”

Given the great night they had and the way Rob had you feeling, getting drunk seemed to be the best way to take care of both situations.

“I like how you think Y/N!” Billy added, while walking towards you. Once he had reached your side he put his arm around your shoulder and continued speaking, this time lowering his voice so only you could hear him. “How about we see if we can make Rob jealous, huh?”

You looked at him unsure of why he would say something like that when he knew you both were just friends but anyway he made you think, would Rob really get jealous over you being with someone other than him? It’s not like he was the jealous type anyway, but he definitely wouldn’t get that way over you. After all why would he? Rob saw you as his friend and now you knew that’s all he would ever see in you.

You and the boys walked down the street to a nearby club, quickly finding a booth in the back of the packed venue, where a waitress wasted no time bringing you a round of beers. You talked all about the evening, how much the crowd had loved it and how things were going to be now that they were going to be all big and famous. Everything was going great until you started on your next beer and noticed that all six sets of eyes were now fixed on you.

“Wow Y/N!” Stephen exclaimed. “You’re already starting on beer number four?”

Looking down at the glass in your hand, you shrugged your shoulders. It wasn’t a rarity for you all to drink quite a bit when you got together, but of course they would notice the one night you were actually drinking, even more than them.

“He is right,” Rob whispered, leaning in dangerously close. “Maybe we should slow it down a little sweetheart.”  
Turning your head, ready to protest at his suggestion, your lips almost landed on his. He really was too close and it wasn’t that you were drunk yet, but with the alcohol mixing with all your other feelings for him, you knew it wouldn’t be too long before this became a problem.

“Slow down?” You questioned, cocking your eyebrow slyly. “I thought we were celebrating Robbie.” 

Giggling, a big smile spread across his face. That damn million dollar smile, no one could resist it, especially you, and there you were just inches from him.

“You’re right Y/N and there is no one else I would rather be here with than you.”

Leaning in he placed a kiss on your cheek and when he was done, he shifted positions so he could grab the pitcher of beer and refill his glass. You let out a laugh, and it wasn’t long before the rest of the guys looked over and joined you in laughter.

“Why are you laughing?” He asked with a smirk, still focused on what he was doing.

Poor Rob. Even after years of practice, he still couldn’t pour a decent beer. 

“We have to pay for that Rob and now it's undrinkable” Billy joked as Rob proudly picked up the glass that was filled with more foam than beer. 

“Y/N! Tell them to leave me and my bad pouring skills alone!” Rob pleaded, giving you his best puppy dog eyes, as he pouted. 

“You did a … Fine job,” you complimented, starting to laugh again. “But, maybe a little more practice wouldn’t hurt?” 

As you patted his shoulder, his big blue puppy dog eyes stayed fixed on you, adoringly, and you could feel yourself starting to slip again. That’s the way you always wanted him to look at you, and all it would take to ruin everything, was you opening your mouth and that’s when you knew it was time to start slowing down. 

You didn’t want to leave without him, but when Rob ordered another round of beers, you knew you couldn’t stay any longer and took it as your sign to call it a night.

“Okay guys, guess I will see you tomorrow” you said as you stood from the booth and grabbed your bag and jacket.

“Oh no, you're leaving already?” Billy asked.

“No Y/N!” Rob whined. “We’re having fun, you can’t leave yet!”

“You're very sweet but…” You paused for a second, as you felt yourself becoming dizzy. “I have work to do tomorrow”

“Tomorrow? You work on Saturdays now?” Rob questioned. 

You had hoped Rob wouldn’t notice your lie, but of course he did.

“Only this weekend” you added nervously. You were never good at lying. “Anyways, it's been a pleasure to share this evening with you gentlemen. 

You made your way from guy to guy, giving them each a quick hug, until you got Rob. He made sure to make the hug last longer than usual. “Thank you y/n, for everything.”

“Get a room, you too, jeez,” Stephen joked. 

Rob's face blushed red as he smiled shyly. The old Rob was back and you couldn’t help but smile. Being with Rob was like getting two for the price of one. He could be the provocative Rockstar one minute, but turn around and be that shy, awkward, man that you had known since high school.

As you walked out of the bar and got into the cab, your heart started pounding and everything began to spin. Sure, all the alcohol in your system wasn’t helping, but what was really getting to you, was your feelings for Rob. The more time you spent with him, the more you fell and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t convince yourself that you only loved him as a friend.   
After you got home and were wrapped snugly in your blankets, you felt your phone vibrate on the bed beside you. Picking it up you unlocked it and found a message from Rob.

I hope you got home safely y/n. Thank you for being with me tonight, I Love you. By the way coffee is on me tomorrow. :)

Being in love with Rob, could make things difficult, but the truth was, you were already starting to see that you were too far gone. Besides, it could also end up being the best thing to happen.


	3. New Feelings

Waking up the next morning wasn't an easy task either. Your head was pounding and your heart aching. On top of it all, Rob had haunted your dreams all night, causing you to get little sleep. 

Rolling over onto your back, you let out a sigh as you laid there staring at the ceiling. You couldn’t understand why things were so difficult all of a sudden. Maybe it was because of this new Rockstar persona of his, and now you were aware of the fact that at anytime Rob could find someone and he wouldn’t need you anymore. Things were going to change. Things always change.

No more than an hour later, you had just dozed back to sleep when you heard those two knocks on your door. You didn't know why, but you started to become nervous. Nerves? Rob was making you nervous now? You had never felt nervous around him! Apparently, things were more complicated than you had thought.

Dragging yourself out of the bed, you put on a hoodie, slipped into a pair of Converse, and fixed your hair a little bit, before you went to open the door. As, you walked from your room to your front door, you felt like a teenager again, getting that butterfly like feeling in your stomach, like when you were back in school and that star football player would smile at you in the hallway. 

When you got to the front door, you stopped and took a deep breath. “Alright y/n, time to pull yourself together. You can do this!” With another deep breath, you opened the door, revealing Rob, with his glasses on and his hair still a mess, leaning against the wall with two coffees in his hands and as soon as he saw you, he flashed you a big smile. That damn smile along with the whole, “I just woke up” look he had going on, already had you distracted. 

“Hey, sleepy head!” Placing a kiss on your cheek, he scooted pass you and head inside. “It took you awhile to get to the door, huh?”

“Yeah, that’s because someone let me drink too much last night,” you teased as you closed the door and walked in behind him “Why are you up so early?”

“I’ll get to that but first, coffee.”

“Thanks,” you replied with a smile, walking over and sitting down on the couch. 

“You don’t have to thank me. I keep my promises, you know that.” Joining you on the sofa, he took his glasses off and laid them down on the coffee table. Leaving you now face to face with those bright blue eyes. 

"I know you do, Rob and by the way, this is a very delicious promise.” He grinned in response, as you leaned over, to set your coffee down next to his. “Okay, what’s the second thing?” 

When you sat back up, you noticed his eyes still fixed on you, and this strange look on his face

“Uh?” He asked. “The second what?”

“I don’t know, you tell me Benedict. You are the one who said coffee was only the first thing?” 

He was acting really strange. This was the definitely the first time he had ever stared at you so intensely for such a long period of time. 

“Wh- Oh yeah!” he exclaimed, shaking his head. “The second thing was that I was thinking maybe we could go shopping? Stephen called me and said we have a concert next Saturday in a new place and-”

“What?!” You blurted out, interrupting him. “Another concert? Rob, that's amazing!” 

As you went in for a hug, you could see him, grinning from ear to ear.

“A second concert, I just can't believe it,” he whispered into your ear, as he tightened his arms around you.

Placing a soft kiss on his cheek, you pulled back, once again gazing into those baby blues. “I'm so proud of you, Rob, and yes I think shopping is a great idea. Just let me change my clothes and we’ll go.” 

As you started to stand, he gently grabbed your hand to stop you. “You don’t have to rush y/n, it’s still early. Go take a shower, get dressed, and then maybe we can go get some lunch before.”

Still confused by how he was acting, you let out a giggle. “Alright Robbie, we’ll get something to eat and then we’ll go get you some rockstar clothes.”

Slipping your hand out from his grasp, you headed towards the bathroom. “By the way, if you’re hungry now, there’s some cookies in the kitchen, go ahead and help yourself.”

 

“I thought you'd never offer, I've been wanting to eat your cookies for days” he yelled, as you heard, him run to the kitchen.

 

~

After lunch at your favorite restaurant, a long day of shopping occurred. Through the dozens of stores you went to, you started to notice a trend. Rob would always leave the store with less items of clothing, than the number of women who eyed him throughout the whole store. The best part, was that he was completely delirious about it. Dozens of women stared at him all day, but he just paid attention to you. Once the sun started to set, it was decided that it was time to be done shopping and that you would go back to your apartment for dinner and a movie. 

Halfway into the movie you felt your eyes growing heavy, and snuggled up next to him. It wasn’t the first time you had fallen asleep with your head on his shoulder, but what was different, was how he put his arm around you, to bring you in closer. Your heart began to pound. It was pounding so hard that you were sure he would be able to feel it too.

After the initial panic of thinking he might realize how worked up you were, you felt yourself starting to relax again. Being there so close to him, breathing in the smell of his cologne, it was one of the most relaxing things you had ever experienced. The last thing you remembered before dozing off was that for the first time in a while you were actually feeling okay. You were okay with falling deeper and deeper in love with him, because you knew no matter what, at the end of the day, you would always have him.


	4. How Can Something So Good Be So Bad For You

After that weekend, going back to work on Monday wasn't that bad, but it wasn't the best either, since you could barely focus. The only thing that was in your mind was Rob.

It was one of the best weekends you've had in a while, but that feeling that everything was actually going to be okay, did not last. You were falling harder with every second that you spent with him, and that could not be healthy.

You were falling in love. You felt the butterflies and goosebumps every time he touched you, your heart would beat faster with every smile. Sure, you were falling in love with a beautiful man, but that beautiful man was also your best friend, and even though you knew he didn’t feel the same way, all his actions, all the touches and smiles, were starting to make you think otherwise. You should know better than to read into it so much, but you also knew there was no way of avoiding it either. 

That night, you left work and were on your way home when you spotted a new place, and decided it would be a good idea to pick up a menu so you and Rob could try it out. When you got to back to your building, you headed straight to Rob’s apartment and knocked on the door, beginning to flip through the menu as you waited for him to answer.

“Hello there gorgeous!” Hearing his voice, your eyes flew from the piece of paper to the door, to find him there with a big smile and a new haircut.

“Rob! You cut your hair!”

“I did! How do I look?” he asked, looking at you and quirking his eyebrow while giving you a cheeky smirk. “It’s a nice looking fohawk don’t you think.”

“Mhm, let me see.”

Reaching out, you ran your fingers through his smooth hair.

“So ma’am what’s the verdict?” You were so lost in how good his hair felt, that you weren’t really paying attention to what he had asked. “Y/n if you don’t tell me what you think about, I’m not going to let you in.”

“It looks and feels very nice, Mr. Benedict, very rock and roll,” you responded with a giggle, as he stepped aside to let you in. 

“So how was your day?”

Closing the door, he walked behind you as you plopped down on his couch, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“Tiring, but okay. How about you?” 

“I’d say you look exhausted and it’s only Monday. What’s going on?” He asked as he sat next to you.

Looking at him, all you wanted to say was “you are happening” but for some reason everything inside you was against it. Luckily before you could say anything he kept talking.

“You’re acting weird y/n and if I didn't know you I wouldn’t worry, but I do so I know you're not okay.” 

He knew you better than anyone, so of course he would notice when you were acting strange.

“I'm just… tired Rob. That's all I promise.” 

You were going to do your best to hide your nerves and the inevitable need to tell him what the real reason was.

“It.. It’s just that I haven't seen you like this before.” Stopping, he thought about it for a second, then sighed. “I’ve only seen you like this once, when you were back in college and-”

In that moment his cell phone rang and you felt relief knowing that you weren't going to go through his questions that would only make you uncomfortable since you weren't about to tell him the truth.

As he talked on the phone, you made signs that you were going to order food and made him choose what he wanted from the menu, which would also keep you busy and let you avoid answering any more of his questions.

Of course that didn't go as planned. As soon as your call ended, you leaned over the kitchen counter and ran your hands through your hair you as you closed your eyes.

“Had a hard time ordering the food?” he whispered into your ear, causing you to jump.

You hadn’t even heard him come up to you and the fact that he was so close to you wasn’t helping either. 

“Dammit Rob! I hate it when you do that!”

“Yeah I know,” he giggled. Putting his hands on your shoulders, he turned you so you were facing him and started rubbing circles with his thumbs. “You look worried and it’s weird. Like I was telling you, the last time I saw you like this, you were in love with Aaron the asshole, and that didn't end well. You know you can talk to me. Right?” 

Once again you found yourself getting lost in those deep blue eyes. Once again you found yourself doubting yourself and wanting to tell him the whole truth, before deciding against it. 

“Really Rob, I'm okay. Let's just relax and have a good time” you told him while you played with the neck of his shirt

“So, you're not in love with any asshole?” He joked with a smile.

As you kept staring at him, you knew that you shouldn’t’ve been and that’s when you decided you were just going to do it. You were going to tell him because you couldn’t hold it in any longer. Besides it was Rob. Rob was going to understand.

“Actually, Rob, there's something that you need-” 

Just then the doorbell rang. It was in that moment you understood that you weren't supposed to tell him. You weren’t supposed to risk losing him. 

“Damn the food is here! Just hold that thought,” he said as he went to his door to meet the delivery guy.

You let out a breathe that you didn't know you were holding and your heart and head started pounding, warning you that you had almost made a huge mistake.

You spent the night trying to make Rob forget about what you were about to say, always talking about random, nonsense stuff. Luckily, since he was really excited about telling you all about their next concert he forgot about everything that had happened earlier. The whole time he was talking, you paid attention to every detail and adored every second of it. That voice, how his nerves would surface every time he said that he couldn't believe what was happening with the band, or how he played with his bracelets.

Yes, it was Rob, but he was way more important than any feeling. What if you saying something would make you lose these moments? The moments where you could be close to him, admiring how beautiful and amazing he was. 

As you were making your way out of his apartment, you turned to place a kiss on his cheek and playfully ran your fingers through his recently cut hair. 

“Don't you think I forgot you were about to tell me something and that I haven't noticed your efforts to make me avoid the topic,” he replied, with a playful wink. 

You froze, right there in front of him and he continued.

“I only respected you because I know you will tell me sooner or later.”

“You know me too well Robbie” you said and he laughed, placing a soft kiss on your cheek and hugging you.

“I just don't want you to suffer when you know that I'm here,” he said, softly.

For just a minute, you felt like reveling in the moment, and stood there hugging him tightly. Something that seemed to last forever and none of you wanted to let each other go.

“Good night, Robbie,” you said with a smile as you pulled back and started to walk to your apartment. “Thank you for everything.”

“Good night, Y/N. Sweet dreams.”

As soon as you closed the door of your apartment, you couldn't help but to lean your head against the it and begin to cry. You didn't know if you were going to be able to fight against your feelings for Rob but you quickly noticed that the more you tried, the worse you started to feel. And on top of that, your fears were overwhelming you.


	5. Who's Leading Who On?

While you were at work the next morning you knew you had to make a decision. The night before ended in a bad way, and Rob was right. The last time you were like this was when you fell in love with an actual asshole back in college . Of course Rob wasn't an asshole but the feeling was the same and both were unrequited.

With your feelings only growing and not showing any signs of slowing down, you knew you had to give up. You never imagined that something related to him would make you cry and feel so sad. So, after hours of thinking, and only complicating things more, you thought it was better to avoid Rob, at least until the concert that weekend.

Would it be strange? yes, but it was that or telling him the truth and you didn't want to risk losing him. What if this was just a “the heat of the moment” kind of thing? If that was the case it really wasn’t worth the risk.

It seemed like that day was the hardest day for you. Everything was going wrong, you were awful at your job, your head was full of thoughts. All and all you just felt sad. On a bright note however, the day was moving very slowly. 

You messaged Rob, telling him that you were working overtime because you had a lot of delayed work, which was sort of the truth, and later when you went to check to see if he had replied you noticed that he had read it, but never responded. You knew he just had to be busy or something. After all they only had four days to rehearse, so he was probably just with the boys. 

After telling your boss you were staying, you settled in your desk. It was better than going back home, you thought, at least you were distracted there.   
Finishing the job took you three hours and you were surprised when you looked at the phone and saw the time and a message from Rob.

Sorry about that! Anyway I'm staying at Billy’s for dinner, if you wanna come by… ;) 

As you replied, you felt relieved that you would be able to get home that night without having to see him, at least for one day. It wasn’t that you felt good about it, but at this point it was what was best for you.  
For the rest of the week you tried your best to avoid Rob, only talking through messages. Luckily it seemed to be a busy week for him and you had no problem keeping it that way for yourself, either. At least, the busier you were and the more distracted you became, things didn't hurt so much.

By the time the week was over however, you realized just how weird you felt not having seen Rob in days. The fact that you didn't have dinner together or had him at your door in the morning with coffee, were definitely things you were missing. “Great” you thought to yourself. “Though the week had started out just fine, you are right back where you had started, but now its worst because of how bad you miss him.” 

When Saturday came and it was time for the second concert you were beyond excited, and finally allowed yourself to see Rob. Without announcing it to him, you got out of the bed, put on your clothes and went for coffee, picking up yours and his favourite as well, before heading back to your building to knock on his door. There was no answer. You thought that maybe he was busy, so you waited and knocked again, but once again there was nothing.

You felt bad, not only you did you not see him for days, but you now couldn't even share a coffee, at least to see how was he feeling. Yes, you knew you started this but what were you supposed to do? Those little acts were what made your friendship a friendship, you didn't know that the lack of it all would make you feel worse than you did. You knew you had to stop your feelings, somehow, but apparently for him it was the same, since he didn't care about the coffees or dinners, either.

Deciding to try it once more, you knocked again and waited. Once again finding it completely silent.

As you slowly walked to the elevator and then to your apartment, you knew you had to make a decision. Leaving the coffee on your sink, you started to think about what to do. Should you go to the concert? Should you message him and ask him where he was and why he left so early without telling you? That thought only made you feel worse, why would you do that? You were a mess, to say the least, overthinking was getting the best from you and in the middle of everything your phone lighted up with a message from Rob.

I'm so sorry I had to leave earlier and I didn't want to bother you since you had a very busy week. I owe you a few coffees! See you tonight? 

In that moment you felt relief and a feeling that you were the dumbest girl in the world. All the overthinking, all the feelings you were having. You had to stop, all of this put your friendship at risk. So that night, you decided once more, that it would be better just to put everything on hold.

By the time you got to the venue that night, you were more than ready and also a little bit nervous. You loved to watch the guys play and you really had become their number one fan. After all, you had been there since the beginning, watching them rehearse and grow and now you were able to see them get big and famous. With that thought everything seemed to have been forgotten and you focused on enjoy the evening and being there with Rob, in that moment he needed you.

“Well, well, well, look who's coming” Stephen said as he saw you entering the backstage area, with a big smile on your face. 

“Yeah, you look more rock-n-roll than us, Y/N” Billy joked as you went in to hug him. 

Blushing you started playing with the hem of your skirt. “Ah, it’s just my everyday clothes guys, but thank you” 

That’s when you noticed Rob standing from the sofa on the other side of the room and beginning to walk towards you.

“So how's everything? There's a lot of people out there huh?” you asked, quickly looking back at Billy.

“Yes,” Rob replied as placed himself next to you and Billy and handed you a beer. “But I’m more excited to see you. I’ve missed the hell out of you this week girl.” 

You froze, but yet your heart was pounding so hard it felt as if it was about to leap out onto the floor. “I missed you too, Robbie and I'm sorry, it was just such a crazy week!” 

“Yes I know, it has been for me too, but now that we are finally in the same place, there's something I would like to talk about with you, follow me?” he said as the two of you walked over to the couch where Rob had been sitting earlier.

You started to get nervous. What could be so important that you had to talk in private? Of course your mind wandered all the various possibilities of what was to come.

“Okay” he sighed as he sat down on the couch and ran a hand through his hair and beard

“Okay? What happened?” You asked anxiously. Trying to control the nerves that only kept growing with every minute.

“I've been thinking a lot about you these past few days Y/N.” 

Smiling, his eyes moved to where your hands laid in your lap and he reached over, starting to fidget with one of your bracelets. You knew by then your face had to of been bright red and you had no idea if you could resist much longer. 

“I know you've been avoiding me” he stated and making you truly uncomfortable. He of course noticed but kept going. “And I was really thinking about what I did, or if something happened, but I just couldn't quite figure out at first.” 

He stopped talking and even more nerves filled your body. You tried to keep calm but no words would form to answer him, so instead you took a drink from your beer. Which you were glad to have in your hands in that moment.

“I know you, Y/N. I know that you wouldn't be so distracted and feeling like you do if it wasn't for someone. And I… I think I am the only one who can help you with that.”   
You felt relieved as the words came out of his mouth, but you wanted him to keep talking.

“What do you mean you're the only one that can help?” You asked curiously.

“Oh come on, we've been friends for what, fifteen years? It's time that we are clear about everything and besides, you know I just want to see and make you happy.” 

He leaned over and kissed your check softly and just as he was about to say something. Right at that damn that moment, someone came into the room.

“Guys, get ready, you’re onstage in five minutes.” 

That broke the moment, but that was okay because it was time to think about something else.

“I love you” you blurted out as soon as you saw Rob standing up. 

Smiling he leaned down, and placed a kiss on the top of your head. “I love you too, and we’ll talk about this after the concert. It’s important.”

He winked and you nodded in response, before he was walking out the room. This was the night that would change your life forever. The night you'd have to stop hiding your feelings and stop being uncomfortable when you were around Rob. 

The guys had another excellent concert, some of the people already knew the lyrics, others were just listening but you could tell that they truly liked it. You were thrilled that this was going so good for them and you were glad that things were going to be even better between you and Rob.

As soon as they finished, you walked backstage and you noticed that a group of five people were now following you, you were surprised that the staff let them in but you supposed they were the guys friends, so you just waited until they showed up. Hugging them back again and telling them how amazing they were onstage.

As you had a drink and talked with Mike, you noticed that Billy, Rob and Stephen went to talk with the five people that entered backstage after you. You were glad to see them interacting with their fans.

“This was a great night!” Billy exclaimed as he sat down between you and Mike.

“Indeed. People are feeling more familiar and that's awesome” you added as you took a sip from your beer.

“Yes and others are feeling beyond familiar.”

You didn’t know why, but that joke had you feeling even more nervous about your conversation with Rob. Those nerves quickly changed to sadness, when you looked over and saw him with a girl, standing but inches from each other, laughing and talking. In that moment all you could hear were the voices around you. All those voices, but you didn’t understand what they were saying. You only saw Rob, flirting with this other girl. Then you noticed how he turned and winked at Billy and without saying a word, he was walking out with her.

You weren't sure about what you just saw, it took you a few minutes to notice that Billy was even talking to you. You were shocked and it felt like there was a knot in your throat that made it hard for you to breathe.

“Hey, are you alright?” 

The feeling of Billy’s hand on your back startled you.

“Where's he going?” You asked, voice almost breaking. That was the only thing you could say.

“Who? Rob?” He questioned. 

You nodded in response.

“Well, we met those guys when we arrived and he liked that girl apparently” he let out a little smirk as he looked to the place Rob was standing a few seconds ago. You forced a smile, that was more intended to let out your agony than anything.

You looked at Billy, and tears were quickly forming in your eyes. “I think I… need the bathroom” you disappeared quickly before any of the guys could question you.

Tears fell, running down your cheeks as you covered your mouth, trying hard to stifle the sound of your sobbing. How was all that he had said earlier supposed to mean anything now if he was leaving with some random girl? Your chest felt so heavy and You tried to calm yourself down, splashing some water on your face and breathing in and out deeply.

A few moments later, you composed yourself and walked out of the bathroom, looking for the guys finding that only Billy was right outside leaning against the wall, looking at his shoes. 

“Hey, I was starting to worry” he said walking closer to you as soon as he saw you come out. “Are you alright?” 

You nodded and let out a little smile.

“Where are Mike and Stephen?” You asked, looking around and back at Billy who hadn’t stopped looking at you since you appeared.

“They are waiting for us outside. I told them I'd stay here waiting for you. What happened, Y/N?”

Caressing your cheek with his thumb he smiled softly at you.

“Nothing. I- I'm okay, and thank you, for waiting for me but I think I'm going home. I feel a bit tired. I'm sorry i made you guys wait” 

“I stayed because I wanted to, and I can take you home if you want?” 

It was a nice offer, but you were a wreck and just wanted to be alone.

“Thank you, Billy, really, but I think you should go celebrate with your friends. I'll be fine.” 

As he held you, your arms tightened around him, and all that need of crying returned to you, once again. You quickly pulled out and patted his shoulder.  
“Go and enjoy. I'll see you soon.” 

Kissing his cheek, the two of walked out and you said goodbye to Stephen and Mike, before hailing a cab to take you home.

That night at home was the saddest you've ever had in your life. It never hurt that much to see Rob with someone else. Now you knew, that whatever he was going to say wasn’t what you expected and your feelings for him needed to disappear or you'd be always be a prisoner of them.


	6. A Brand New Hurt

Three days later you still didn't know what Rob wanted to talk to you about, and you weren't crazy to find out either. You felt angry and sad, but you were also disappointed with yourself. 

You heard the various knocks on your door throughout the day, received messages of him asking if you were okay, then there was that day he had called your office just to confirm you were still alive. Eventually, he gave up and sent you a long message saying, that he was sad you didn't trust him and felt like you couldn’t tell him anything, and that even though he was upset, would give you all the time and space you wanted and needed.

It killed you to be away from him, but it had gotten to the point where you needed him like the air you breathed, and that was doing more harm than good. The thing that really sucked about all this, was that Rob hadn’t done anything wrong. He had no idea what was even going on but he felt miserable all because of how you were acting. You had to find a way to fix the situation. A way to to see him and talk to him without making a bad situation worse.

The night you were finally going to go talk to him, you had just gotten home when you heard two knocks on your door. They weren't Rob's but who else could it be? The whole day you had been thinking, planning, exactly what you would say to him, until you finally had everything laid out. You weren’t going to let anything stop you this time, but when you opened the door and found Billy, smiling from ear to year, your whole plan changed. 

“Hey Y/N!”

“Hey…” 

You looked at him and to the sides, but before you could say anything he spoke.

“I'm alone, I promise.” he replied with a chuckle, that made you smile, the first honest smile in three days. “Can I come in?”

Stepping aside, you let him in, and went into the kitchen, returning with two bottles of beer.

“So, what are you doing here?” you asked, patting the couch cushion, for him to come join you.

“Well, I will be honest,” he said, clearing his throat. “Rob is deadly worried about you and so am I. Even though I know we don't have enough confidence, I decided to come anyway.”

As he sat there looking at you, you could tell he was waiting for your reaction.

“So, Rob didn't send you?” you asked, quite surprised if you were being honest. You didn't know why Billy was so caring towards you.

“No, Rob doesn't know I'm here and he also doesn't know that whatever happened, happened at the concert.” 

Billy wasn't a fool, and you were sure that if he digged a little deeper, he would be able to find out the whole truth.

“Billy, promise me you won't tell him. If you see him after today, tell him I just… had an awful haircut and I won't come out until I look normal!” 

Billy joined you in laughter.

“Y/N, he's spent the last couple days doing nothing but moping around my house. He kept bringinning me coffee and we had dinner together and I know those are things he does with you. He misses you.” 

Those words were like a knife to your chest. You missed Rob like hell. Missing him hurt you more than a broken heart, even, but as you listened to Billy telling you the details, you couldn't help but smile.

“Come on, Billy. You don't wanna be the new me?” you said jokingly. 

He smiled and looked down.

“Well, you know I don't mind. But he talked about you the whole time. Now, I know you have your reasons for not wanting to tell him, but can’t you talk to him at least?” 

Maybe this was the sign you needed to make the decision to go and talk with Rob.

“Okay. Now I feel horrible. I don't want him feeling like that because of me. I have to talk to him and in the meantime, I'm sorry you had to deal with him.” 

“Its fine. He's very cool, even if he didn’t stop talking about you all day, and we have another concert coming, so I’m sure he will be happy to tell you.” 

With the mix of feelings and emotions, you jumped to hug Billy, just like you do when Rob when tells you news like that. 

“Sorry,” you said, pulling back quickly. You felt your face getting red and hot. You’d known Billy for years but there still wasn’t a lot of confidence in interacting with him like that.

“Don't worry,” Billy laughed. “It's totally fine. I'm glad you're happy”

“Of course I’m happy! I knew you'd be successful!” you exclaimed happily. 

“Thank you, number one fan” he chuckled and kissed your cheek “I’m going to leave and you will talk to Rob?”

“Definitely, yes. Thanks Billy.”

Standing from the couch, you walked him to the door, and after he placed another kiss on your cheek and said he would see you soon, he was gone.

~

The next day, after going for your morning coffee, you decided to go see Rob, and apologize for what you made him go through. Throughout your whole friendship you had never been in a situation like this and you missed and needed him, more than anything.

After knocking on his door, you waited for a minute, taking a little sip from your coffee to taste it. The look of surprise on Rob's face made your heart ache with happiness, but It all changed when you saw the girl picking up her purse behind him, and getting herself ready to leave. You froze.

You tried your best smile and with your voice cracking, you managed to get out a small hello. Quickly stepping aside he let you in and the girl, who was the same girl you saw him leaving with after the concert, said hello to you and kissed his cheek before leaving.

Your head was a mess but you kept repeating to yourself, “this shouldn't hurt me”. You had no right to be jealous or get angry. Rob was a free man. He was your friend. Just your friend, and you had to be able to understand that. 

When the sound of Rob calling your name distracted you, you forced a smile and handed him his coffee, hoping he wouldn't notice your hand shaking. Signaling just how ridiculous you felt in that moment.

“So,” he started quietly. “Where the hell have you been and what the hell happened?” He let out a little smile at the end and hugged you so tight, like he thought he would never get to do it again. “I've missed you, Y/N”.

Leaving the coffee on a table nearby, you wrapped both arms around him, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, smelling him, inhaling that beautiful scent you loved and missed so much. His beard scratching your face, while he kissed your cheek.

“I just-” you started while pulling away slowly and looking at his blue eyes. After three days of not seeing him, you knew you had missed him, but you had no idea you missed him that much. “I just haven't been feeling that well, I'm sorry.”

“What am I here for then? What made you feel so bad that you haven't talked to me for three days?” 

You had no clue what to tell him, and as he kept looking at you, you knew you didn't have much time to come up with something.

“One day I will tell you, Robbie, but right now, you have something to tell me,” you said, trying to avoid the stare of those blue eyes.

“No way, missy, you must tell me. I'm your friend, Y/N-”

“There's another concert on the way,” you blurted out fast, interrupting him. He was about to talk then stopped and pouted, tilting his head a little and thinking.

“How do you know that?”

“A little bird told me” you smiled and took his hands in yours, leading him over to sit on the couch. “Let's focus on what matters now. You becoming popular!”

“Yes I know I've been wanting to talk to you about it. I'm super excited and I love where we are going,” he said grabbing your hand and kissing it. “I'm even more excited now that you're back and all, but seriously, who told you?”

“Billy, he came to visit me yesterday.” 

Rob's whole face changed, and you noticed that he had started to become somewhat uncomfortable and it confused you.

“Oh, so you… talked to Billy and not to me?” 

“It's not like that, I opened the door thinking it was you because I was going to come to see you and talk to you last night, but-”

“But it was more interesting to be with Billy, I get it.” he said, sounding hurt. He was hurt because he felt like you had chosen someone over him, and that only made you feel worse. But it also made you angry.

“Well, you were busy anyway right?” you snipped, unintentionally sounding like the jealous girlfriend, the one thing you wanted to avoid. You were starting to get upset, which wasn't good.

“Excuse me?” He shifted, turning to look at you.

“Oh yes, I’m sure that girl woke up really early to come and visit you this morning.” 

You were trying to get yourself together but for some reason you kept it going.

“You'd knew, if you had talked to me in the last three days, but of course, you were too busy just trying to get Billy's attention and you didn't want me in the middle! I knew it!”   
You frowned and were about to talk when he stood up and continued.

“You think I didn't notice how you look at each other? How distracted and weird you were! I knew you liked someone and it's Billy. If you think I will care, I don't, so go ahead!”

“Wait, are you jealous now?” You didn't like Billy. You didn't even know why you didn't deny it and had just told him you liked him, right there. Instead you decided arguing with him was somehow the right thing to do, which simply was a mistake.

“Wh- jealous? Of you? Wh- why would I be jealous?” 

He was jealous. You could read Rob like a book, and that made you think. But before you could say anything, he kept talking.

“You’re not the center of the universe, Y/N, you know that right?” he yelled, breaking your thoughts. 

Tears welled in your eyes and you just looked at him for a couple of seconds. In that moment, Rob understood what he said while you looked at him in silence.   
He didn't know why he said that and why he felt so mad, but before he could open his mouth to say anything, you shook your head and walked to the door. He called out your name, trying to get you to stop, but you kept walking before slamming the door and leaving him behind.

Those words hit you, harder than you thought, of course you didn't feel like the center of the universe but he said it so angry and so sure of it, that you really believed you were nothing to him, even if that wasn't the case. You've never seen him like that.

With every step you made, you could feel yourself falling apart, piece by piece. You had never felt like this before, now you were even more confused and sad. And his words were still in your head, replaying over and over again.   
It was breaking your heart and you only hoped you would never feel like this again.


	7. Heart Betrayed

You had never spent this long on your own. Being with Rob was a routine you enjoyed, and it was comfortable and nice. You damned yourself falling in love with him. You knew you shouldn't have, but it was too late now.

A week passed. Rob messaged you a lot the first couple of days, but with no responses back from you, he eventually just stopped. You tried to spend as much time outside as possible, because being at home only made you sad and start to overthink things. You would stay out all day until you were ready to fall asleep, looking for activities that keep you busy and repeat that same schedule every day. You went through the rest of the day on the verge of tears, with every place you saw holding a memory of time spent it with Rob.

You needed Rob so much, but the way he said those things to you broke your heart. He begged for forgiveness and you knew it wasn't fair because you did your part too, but you still weren't ready to talk yet or to see him. 

Billy called you, almost every day, but you ignored him too. You ignored everyone. You should have told Rob that you didn't like Billy. All of this could’ve been solved if you had just told him that. 

Before you knew it, it was Saturday already and you weren't about to show up at the concert as if nothing happened. So, you needed a distraction.

Then just like she had heard your thoughts, a girl from work called and invited you out for drinks. You quickly said yes, drinking sounded like an amazing idea, and being with someone different would probably help too. Plus, she was a nice person, one of the first people you bonded with at work, spending time with her outside of work was long overdue.

You put on a short, red dress with sleeves, that you liked a lot, black shoes, and applied some make up. You were beyond ready to go out and forget about everything for a while and when you examined yourself in your full body mirror, you had to admit you liked the way you looked. Getting all dressed up, was obviously the confidence boost you needed. 

Around 9, you heard the bell and you knew it was her, so you grabbed your bag and went downstairs. It was a beautiful night, almost summer in LA, with a soft breeze blowing, messing your hair a little bit. You smiled. For the first time in a week you felt relief and felt alright, ready to enjoy of your night.

Now, you weren't the type of girl who went out only to find a guy or get laid. Besides, most of the time you went out with Rob, so you didn't need much, but you'd be lying if you said you weren’t looking for some attention that night. 

In the cab on the way to the bar, your friend said the place you were going to was “ just what that night asked for.” You didn't question, just followed suit. Briana was a super nice girl and made you laugh a lot. which helped you forget about things a bit. She was also relaxed and pretty easy to talk to. Also, was your best friend at work, and your guardian angel when you fucked things up. Tonight included. 

“Look at that, open bar!” She yelled as you got in line. 

There were about 12 people waiting to get in and another bunch of guys and girls had even come in behind you after you got there. You liked the open bar idea, you were an expert on killing the pain with alcohol, so that was exactly what you were going to do.

“You're stealing a few hearts, already, Y/N” Briana told you wiggling her eyebrows, as you made your way inside the place.

“Oh, look who's talking” you added laughing, as you motioned towards the guy that had been looking at her since you were in line.

“Well, an open bar and open guys, I have the feeling this is going to work in our favor.” 

Grabbing ahold of your hand she dragged you to the bar and ordered the first shots. “To a good night, my dear friend!”

You smiled excitedly and nodded. “To a good night, Bri!” 

You both, chugged your shots, and after that, hours of dancing, talking, singing, and drinking occured. You were really enjoying the night, she was really fun to be around and you had to admit the drinks were having a good effect on you.

“Baby, does it bother you, that guy over there invited me out?” she winked and pointed with her head. Typical Bri, she goes to the restroom and lands herself a man.

“Of course not, enjoy yourself!” you replied, kissing her forehead. Yes you were drunk, but you were feeling so good. 

Throughout the night, a few guys got closer to you, inviting you for drinks and what not, but you just didn’t find them interesting. Luckily, when you gently turned them down, they were polite enough not to push you as you walked off the dance floor and back over to the bar. Then, you felt a hand on the small of your back, as someone called your name. Setting your drink back down on the bar you turned around to see who was behind you.

“Billy?” You asked surprised. What was Billy doing there? The inevitable thought started to run through your mind, if Billy was there, there was the band. They are always together, and if the band was there, Rob was too.

“Hey,” he exclaimed with a smile. “What are you doing here alone?” he asked in your ear, so you could hear him over the loud music.

“I came with a friend from work. What are you doing here?” You yelled back. “How was the concert?”

“It was amazing! You should have come.” 

You chuckled in response. “Want a drink?” 

Turning to face the bar, you asked the bartender for two beers, and in that moment you felt Billy way too close behind you. Looking over your shoulder, you flashed him a big grin, and he did the same.

You could almost feel him pressed up against you, and when he whispered in your ear how beautiful you looked, goosebumps ran down your whole body.

You gave him his beer and moved to a table in the corner where you talked for a while, forgetting about everything that was in your mind and having a good time for a change.  
Then he began to flirt, and what was even more shocking, was that you flirted back. As the night went on you only got closer and closer together, until eventually his hand found its place on your leg. 

Before you knew it, he was gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, as he kissed you softly. When he pulled back, you could tell he was waiting for you to freak out, but instead you brought your hands up to the sides of his face and brought him closer, allowing a deeper, more intense kiss to ensue.   
His beard scratched your skin, his hands moved to your waist as yours traveled down to his chest and grabbed his shirt, bunching the fabric in both of your fists. 

“Want to come home with me?” You asked, still slightly out of breath from the kiss. He stared at you for a second, biting his lower lip.

“I think we better go to my house, it’s closer.”  
Giving you another kiss, he took your hand in his and stood up from the table, leading you both out of the bar.

Rob's P.O.V

“Hey, where were you,dude?” Stephen asked as he saw Rob walking towards the booth they were in. It was safe to say that even though the concert went great, he felt that there was something missing that night.

“I just had some stuff to do. What did I miss?” Taking off his leather jacket he sat down next to Mike and ran a hand through his hair, with a sigh. “Where's William?” 

“He said he was going to the bathroom” Mike shrugged, as he drank from his beer.

“Alright then, so, it went well tonight, huh fellas?” 

He was trying to act enthusiastic about how successful they were being lately, but the happiness didn't reach to his face.

“What's wrong, Rob?” 

Rob was very raw with his emotions and even though he tried to act like he wasn’t sad, everyone could see it.

“Nothing, I'm just a bit tired, that's all” he replied with a smile, keeping his attention fixed on his phone. 

Both Mike and Stephen looked at him. Something he noticed when he looked up from his phone back to his friends. “Okay, Y/N and I, we haven't talked in a week. She hasn’t messaged me and she didn’t come to the concert. I-” 

He wouldn't say it out loud, but he was feeling incomplete. He missed her.

Right before any of the guys could say something, Rob's sight got fixated on a certain point in the distance. He swallowed hard before being able to talk.

“Wh- what's Y/N doing with Billy? Wasn't he in the bathroom?” he asked, trying to control the anger on his voice. “What is she doing here?”

Mike and Stephen looked over, just as confused as Rob was. Not only because Billy was with Y/N, but also because they were wondering why Rob was having such a hard time looking at the scene.

The breaking point was when he saw Billy kissing her, when he expected Y/N to break the kiss, but didn’t. He felt his heart breaking into a million pieces.

“This can't happen,” Rob blurted out, without thinking. 

Mike looked back to Rob. He knew Rob. He knew he had to have feelings for Y/N, since their relationship had always been like if they were a couple, but it wasn’t until then that he was for sure.

“Dude,” Stephen said, breaking the uncomfortable silence at the table. “Didn't you talk to Billy about Y/N because she sort of liked him?” 

Rob looked down, to avoid Stephen’s confused stare.

“It was all a misunderstanding, I only talked to him about her just because I thought she would shoot him down. I was sure she-” Rob's eyes were filled with tears that he of course didn't want to let out. “I was convinced that she was in love with me, but I was too afraid to ask her directly.” He let out a little smile. “I guess I have my answer now, though.” 

His pain was evident, as he saw two of his best friends leaving the bar together. What he really saw, though, was his friend taking away the girl he had loved for so long. The worst part of it all, was that he felt like he had basically been the one to put them together, just because he thought if he had talked to Billy it would’ve gone the other way around. He honestly didn't believe Y/N was into Billy, but now, it was right in front of his eyes, as if to flaunt how wrong he had been.

Mike and Stephen didn't make a sound. They were just as confused as Rob, but most of all they could see how hurt he was.

“She looks so beautiful,” he said, letting out another thought that he wished he had kept to himself. He shook his head. She was right there, looking so amazing, but what hurt the most was that he was not the man kissing her or taking her home. 

“Look, Rob, it's probably nothing,” Mike interrupted, trying to add some calm to his friend's sadness. 

“I can't believe what an idiot I am,” he repeated to himself, over and over again. 

As soon as the waitress brought his beer, he wasted no time on drinking fast and enough to get drunk and forget about what he just saw.

He had been angry since the day she left his apartment, But now he felt sad and empty, as well. Mike could be right, it could be nothing, but it could also be everything, and just as he started to miss her. My beautiful girl, he repeated to himself over and over again, while fighting the need to break down in front of everyone.


	8. I Can't Stand What You Put Me Through

Reader's POV

Before you even opened your eyes, you could already feel your head pounding, regretting in that moment that you had drank so much the night before. You tried to stretch and change your position, but quickly stopped moving when you felt someone behind you. Your eyes flew open. You had left the bar with someone and you did not remember it all. Peeking over your shoulder, you found that Billy was the one sleeping peacefully next to you. 

In that moment his phone began to ring. Letting out a groan, you felt him shift, to grab his glasses, before checking it. 

Sighing, you turned to face him. Mostly you just wanted to try to get an idea of what happened. He was naked, then when you caught your red dress, bundled up on the floor next to his jeans, you knew something had definitely happened, but still had no recollection of how exactly. As he returned to his original place, facing you this time, you smiled as he smiled at you.

He positioned himself so he was facing you and kissed your cheek. “Good morning, you. Did you sleep well?” he asked with a soft voice.

“Yes, very. You?” 

“Me too. It was a very good night,” he replied, as you felt his hand making its way around your waist so he could bring you closer to him. “But I bet you don't remember it, do you?”

You shook your head smiling shyly, hiding your face in the pillow.  
These guys knew you too well. Many times you and Rob had talked about how rough the mornings were after drinking, usually always before you could remember anything.

“Well it was. You are so beautiful, Y/N and I'm pretty sure it was one of the best nights of my life, so believe me, it was good.” 

As he leaned closer to kiss you, you couldn’t help but think about how sweet Billy was, and if he was so into you this morning, things must have been okay last night. Following him, you kissed him back. Running your fingers up his arm and across his chest. You would be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying what was happening, just you and him, under the covers and besides, you did like Billy, you just never thought about liking him in this way before. There was no way of telling how things were going to go, so you just stayed focused on enjoying the moment, that turned into the second round of what had happened the night before. 

Rob's POV

Rob had never felt as bad as he felt that morning when he woke up. Even though he made sure to drink from every glass he found, he felt as if everything was hitting him worse than ever. For hours he tossed and turned, until eventually he gave up, knowing he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.

He still couldn't get used to Y/N not showing up at his door every morning, with his favourite coffee, and that sleepy face he adored so much. Though what he had seen the night before upset him, the thing that he couldn't get over was the idea that she was so mad at him that she didn't even want to talk. A hundred times he asked himself why, but still couldn’t find the answer. 

He missed her. More than he ever intended to. He missed everything, from her laugh and smell, the way she would walk around his apartment organizing whatever seemed out of place. He was sure he would never find someone as beautiful as Y/N, but he also knew that wouldn't risk that friendship for anything in the world.

He loved her. And felt so lucky being able to hug her every time he wanted and for being able to be so close to her. At first he thought that was enough, but it wasn’t long before he could deny that he wanted more. He wanted to be able to kiss her, every time he would tell her something exciting. To be able to wake up every day next to her and to show her just how much he loved her and every part of her body, but he was just too afraid. What if his feelings were unrequited and she decided that they couldn’t even be friends, after he told her. He didn't want to risk it. He needed her. He just didn't know how much until now.

Rob knew he needed to talk to her. He wasn’t ready to tell her the whole truth, but wanted to know what she was thinking. The thing was, he couldn't get over the idea of her and Billy together. Maybe he had just taken Y/N home and left? Billy was one of his closest friends, he had to know he had feelings for her, right?

With his head pounding like it was, Rob decided to get out of the bed and take a shower. Knowing that the warm water would help, and as he stood there letting the water fall over his body, he all of a sudden started to feel optimistic about the whole thing. With his headache partially gone, and this feeling of relief now rushing through him, finished the shower and ran back into his room. Throwing on a white T-shirt, jeans and a pair of Converse, before messing his wet hair a bit and slipping on his glasses.

Grabbing his phone he noticed the message he had sent her before the concert, was still unread. He remembered then, how bad it felt when he looked in the crowd and didn’t see her face. How bad it felt singing the songs he wrote for her. Most of the songs he wrote were for her, she just didn’t know it.

He shook it off. She had been at the bar last night, so he knew she had to of been drinking and was probably still in bed with a hangover. So, he decided to go straight to her apartment. He wasn’t quite sure about what to say, if he would confess his feelings or just talk to her, but after seeing her so beautiful, and the distance she was keeping, he knew he had to fix things.

Rushing over to her apartment, he knocked on her door and waited. Looking at his feet while rocking back and forth, nervous about what he would say or do. Knowing Y/N, he waited for a while, before knocking again. Another couple minutes went by, but there was no answer, no movement coming from the other side.

That’s when he knew. If he had to be honest with himself, deep down he had always known where she was, he just didn't want to believe it or give power to the idea, but now that he knew she wasn’t home, there was only one place where she could be. 

He thought back to when he told Billy about Y/N. He had always seen the exchanges between them, and when she started to act weird and confused Rob had just assumed that she liked him. That’s when he decided to talk to Billy, to tell him to make a move on Y/N. Which he also used as a way to know if she was actually into him or someone else.   
He of course hoped it was him, but with as scared as he was, he couldn’t think of any better ways to find out, and he definitely wasn’t about to tell her just like that. 

He headed out of the building and went for his car. For the longest time he just sat there. What was he doing? Where was he going? Maybe he was just overreacting and overthinking. He had to let her be, and maybe if he did, it would give her the space she needed to come back to him, so they could fix whatever was happening, and everything could go back to normal.   
He checked his phone again, but there was nothing. Starting the engine of his car, he drove to Mike's house. Mostly he was just hoping Billy would be there, and distract himself with making music. This was hard, so much harder than he ever could’ve imagined.

Reader POV

When Billy finally decided to give you a break, you took your chance and went to the bathroom. Your head wasn't hurting much, but your heart, your heart was aching. Billy was one of Rob’s best friends, and you were still in love with Rob. The only thing that somewhat helped you, was knowing that you and Rob were still distant at the moment.

Then you started to think. Maybe you would give Billy a chance. You couldn’t deny that he was a gentleman and even with everything that was going on, the night you had spent with Billy had helped you to feel better than you had in awhile. You really needed to try live a normal live again, and Billy might just be the answer.

After getting dressed, and heading out of the bathroom, you found Billy on the edge of the bed, putting on his shoes. 

“So how are you feeling?” He asked looking up at you with a sweet smile.

“Much better, really. Thanks.” You sat next to him on the bed and he straightened to look at you “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah, actually I have to meet the guys at Mike's. You wanna come?” he asked innocently. Of course it wasn't a good idea.

“Thank you and I’d love to, but I have to meet my friend. She was with me yesterday, but then left and she wants to tell me “stuff”, whatever that means.” You made air quotes and rolled your eyes, which made Billy laugh.

“Okay, I will take you home then, it's not safe for you to go out there with that dress,” he replied with a smirk, leaning over to kiss you.   
His beard tickled you, his lips were warm and soft. You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, and it wasn't long until he put his hands on your waist and placed you on his lap. But something happened.

“I really have to go,” you blurted out suddenly. Billy's confusion was clear and that look made you feel so guilty. “Yo- you will make me late, Billy” you said forcing a smile and kissing his cheek.

“Wait, I’ll get my-” 

“No need to worry, I'll take a cab,” you said, quickly cutting him off. Grabbing your hand he pulled you towards him, to give you another kiss.

“See ya, we’ll talk later, I promise,” You added, pulling back with a smile.

You knew he had to think you were crazy. If you were him, you'd think the same thing. As you walked out of Billy’s home, you breathed in and out trying to stop the guilt you were feeling that almost made you feel disgusting about yourself.

You were crazy. You would never tell anybody, but as soon as you and Billy started to kiss, all you could feel, was Rob. You didn't know why on earth, or in your parallel reality, that happened, but when you opened your eyes, you could feel that it wasn’t a good idea. That's why you had ran away.

As soon as you got home, you took a shower that helped you relax but still your head was racing with thoughts, with memories, with decisions you knew you'd have to make. You didn't know if Billy was the correct option, but you knew you needed to choose a way to go. When it came to Rob, there wasn't much to think about, except for finding a way to get him out of your mind. 

Why would he care though? You asked yourself. With his career going up, he was having all the girls he wanted. You hadn’t even seen each other in a week and he didn't know about Billy either, so why were you overthinking this situation as if Rob would care? You let out a little sarcastic laugh. Yes, if anyone saw you like this, they would think you were crazy, but the whole situation was crazy. Of all the guys you could have fallen in love with, you choose your best friend, and even though Billy was a terrific guy, deep down you knew that no one would be able to take Rob’s place. This only made your head spin more. That's when you decided to just to go to sleep, to shut your mind off for a little while. You'd have enough time to deal with this later.


	9. They Ain't You

Throughout that following week, you decided it was better to keep yourself “mad” at Rob, so you didn't have to face the awkward moment of telling him you were sort of dating Billy. You knew he didn't care, after all you weren't 'the center of the universe’. Plus, he wasn't very pleased the last time he found out you were talking to Billy. 

Not spending a single day with Rob was still as weird as it was the first day. You felt sad and off, but at least not seeing him and spending time with Billy, made your feelings for him slow down, even if it was only just a little. Work was unusually busy, and on top of that Briana made sure to tell you every detail of her night, which was the perfect combination to keep you distracted, and that was exactly what you needed. 

You and Billy talked every day after that first night together, and he seemed to have become quite fascinated by you. He had even come to visit you at work a few times, since he lived so close. You liked that. He was good company and through him you knew Rob was okay. He was busy preparing for the mini tour that was coming up, but good. It was in moments like those that you wanted to be with him like you've always been. Hugging him and having him so happy in your arms. You missed that a lot. 

On Saturday night, Billy was supposed to hang out with the guys, so you stayed at home, not wanting to interfere, which you were actually pretty happy with. You wanted a night where you could just sit in the couch and watch a movie, and fall asleep whenever you felt like it, but someone had another plan, which you figured, when you heard the banging on your door. You had just barely stood from the couch, there came your blonde, hyperactive, friend, bouncing through the door.

“Bri!” You exclaimed, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

She stepped inside your apartment and crossed her arms, looking at you. Not saying a word.

“Are you okay?” 

You were sort of curious and scared. She was the kind of girl that could come up with anything.

“I am perfectly fine, the question is are you okay?” 

“Y-yeah I'm fine, I'm a bit confused now,” you admitted.

“Oh yeah? I'm confused too. If you're okay, what the hell are you doing staying here in your pajamas?” 

“Well, what do you want me to do? Billy wasn't-” 

“Billy, Billy, Billy…” she interrupted, rolling her eyes dramatically and letting out a sigh. Looking back at you she noticed you were still staring at her confused. “Chop, chop, sweetheart, we're going out to drink and dance. Put on something nice, you have 30 minutes.” 

Before you could protest, she had grabbed your hand to pull you off the couch, sending you to your room. 

You picked something simple and comfortable, fixed your hair, added makeup and in 20 minutes you were ready, much to your surprise.

“Okay I'm ready!” You announced when you appeared in your living room.

“Damn, you're a beauty” Briana smiled, winking at you.

“You look gorgeous too, we're going to the same place, so you can meet your lover?” You said jokingly. Talking about the guy she met the weekend before.

“Thanks babe, but no I found a different place that you're gonna like and that guy was last weekend! This is a new weekend, with new vibes!”

“Awesome!” You exclaimed happily. You liked Briana's idea and when you hang out with her, you noticed you started to feel less anxious, and less guilty. That didn't mean you were over Rob, but it meant that you weren't suffering as much anymore. Staying away from him with no explanation was one of the worst things you've ever done, but you also knew that so far, he didn't seem to care much about it.

When you got to the bar, you quickly recognized it. You had been there with Rob and the guys several times. It was a nice place, but you knew they liked to go there and that caused the vibes to change for you. Maybe they went to another place or stayed at Billy's, but knowing your luck, it was obvious they were going to be there.

As you made your way in, you looked around and noticed no familiar faces, which helped you to relax a bit. You needed to enjoy the night and that was what you were going to do.

You and Briana got a table next to the bar, and as you chatted and drank, you eventually found yourself forgetting all about the boys. 

Briana was invested in “having fun”. She never once stopped moving, dancing, or talking. She was this big ball of confidence and energy, which helped boost yours as well, but even though you tried to follow her, you knew it was impossible.

A couple hours later, you were still on the dancefloor, when you saw her pointing behind you. You didn't understand what she was referring to so you turned, crashing right into Rob. You had never felt his grip on your arms so tight like that. His eyes were fixed on yours, making the moment seem to last forever, and you would be lying if you said that you wanted him to pull out.   
Even though you stayed in silence, you couldn't help but feel like screaming your feelings at him and his eyes were doing the same. They were so bright with excitement, which seemed very strange considering the circumstances.

“What are you doing here?” Rob blurted out, letting go of your arms. 

“I'm out with a friend, what are you doing here?” 

You kept your eyes locked on his, not wanting to look anywhere else. He looked so beautiful in that red plaid shirt that you've never seen before, with his now shorter hair, and those eyes... Well those bright, blue eyes were as beautiful as always. 

“Me too. Billy is here… along with Stephen, Mike, and a new friend, Jason.” 

Talking with the music so loud was impossible. So naturally he thought it was a great idea talking directly on your ear, which made you feel like collapsing, and screaming out how much you loved him right then and there.

“I was going to get a few drinks,” he stated, pointing towards the bar. “You can join us if you want.”

“I'll talk to my friend,” you said in his ear, putting your hand on his chest. 

“Okay, if she’s up for it, you know the table we're in.” 

Dropping his hand to your waist, he kissed your cheek. That drove you crazy, and you hated him for doing it, but you also loved that he was doing.

As you watched him walk past you and your friend to the bar, you found yourself getting lost in how good he looked. That red plaid shirt, and tight jeans, were a deadly combination.

“Hey!! Wake up!” Briana yelled, disrupting your thoughts. “That's Rob, right?” 

She didn't know Rob, not in person at least, you showed photos of him what she had no idea about was how you felt about him.

You nodded and looked back at her, trying your best to act casual. “He said we can go to his table if we want. Billy and the guys are there, too.”

“Of course we want to go!” she exclaimed as if there wasn’t a doubt. “But try not to drool, Billy is there and he will find out that you're dying for Rob.” 

She had said it so casually, that you stopped and looked at her for a minute, just about to question her when she held up a hand to stop you. “Oh please, you may be able to hide it from them, but I’m a woman and can sense those things, I can see it as plain as day.

After shooting back two more drinks you and Bri headed to the guy’s table.

“Hey Y/N!” Mike said happily, when he saw you walking up. 

You smiled. Mike was such a great man and was always happy to see you, and you him. After making your rounds, hugging him and Stephen, saying hello to the new guy, you introduced Briana, who wasted no time sitting down next to Jason and starting a conversation. Jason was also a musician and he was really cool, or so he seemed, the little you could hear from him when Briana let him speak. One thing you were noticing was that he and Briana looked like they would make a nice couple.

Billy had stood up waiting for you to make your way over him, and as you were, you noticed Rob looking at you from the opposite side of the table. Lowering your head, embarrassed, when Billy kissed you suddenly, your eyes widened and you could tell your face had gotten red, but tried to act as best as you could to hide it.

“I didn't know you were coming here,” Billy said with a smile as he opened the chair next to him for you to sit.

“Me neither,” you replied, smiling nervously. “Briana brought me here and I didn't know where we were going.” 

“Well you're very beautiful tonight,” he whispered in your ear before he kissed your cheek. 

“Thank you! You're not too bad yourself.” 

The first few minutes were awkward, to say the least. Even though you tried to focus on Billy, you couldn't avoid Rob's intense stare from the other side of the table. He was trying his best to carry a conversation with Stephen and Mike, but he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes of you and Billy. Then in one, brief moment, you looked away and turned back to see he had disappeared. Him not being there helped you to relax and you turned your attention back to Billy, so it didn’t look so suspicious. It wasn’t much longer before, Rob made presence very clear. 

“Hey guys, I want to introduce you to Sally” Rob said loudly, as he came to the table, with his arm wrapped around the brunette’s shoulder.

“Lily,” she corrected, eyes scanning over everyone at the table.

“What she said,” Rob added smiling. He's had the right amount of alcohol that boosted his confidence, you could tell right away. “Let's go dance, baby, here's couples only.” 

Giving you a wink, he walked away, taking the girl to the dance floor.

You watched him dance like he usually does when he's like that. It was funny in a way, but it was also a bit uncomfortable the way he was grinding against that girl. It bothered you how close he was to her, but you couldn’t say anything. Why would you say anything? 

Turning away from the sight on the dance floor, you found Briana was looking at you, mouthing if you were okay. You nodded, but of course you weren't okay.

Suddenly you felt Billy's hand rubbing the small of your back. It was when you saw that Rob was walking towards the table, with his arm wrapped around that girl, kissing her cheek while they sat down. You knew what he was doing. You knew he was acting like an asshole on purpose. 

Kissing Billy's cheek, you ran your left hand over his thigh, causing him to look at you and smiled, before kissing you with much anticipation. He was a great kisser, so you just followed him. You damned yourself when opened your eyes, to find Rob was staring at you both, while that girl placed kisses all over his cheek and neck. 

“You wanna go somewhere else?” Billy asked, pulling back so your lips were almost touching. 

You wanted to get out of there, but also wanted to stay. Rob had been acting weird since he saw you, and now you could see something in his eyes. Something that could not be possible. You really needed to stop dreaming and imagining things.

Before you could answer to Billy, you noticed the girl was practically undressing Rob right there, and when he stopped her, she just kept kissing him.

“I think we should go” you said finally.   
When Billy announced you were leaving, Rob pushed the girl away nicely, you knew how he felt when he was getting too much attention, but he was too good to tell someone to simply get lost, so he tried to gently pull away from her.

After saying goodbye to everyone, you and Billy walked out of the place, trying to find a cab that take you both home. You couldn't stop thinking about Rob. About his hands touching your arms, about his voice right in your ear, and his hand on your waist, accompanied by that look in his eyes. You tried so hard to not read too much into it, but he didn't look at you in the same way he used to. Then you thought about the way he had grabbed that girl, how he was with obnoxiously flaunting her in front of everyone, and realized that you were in fact, reading the signals from earlier that night in the wrong way. 

You were an idiot. You needed to focus on what was happening, on what was real. You needed to be honest with Billy and give him a chance. You and Rob were something impossible, but why was that so hard to understand?

Silence filled the drive back home and you just felt embarrassed for playing that little game that you didn't even know what was about.

When you arrived to Billy's apartment, you kissed for a while, trying to bring the mood back and heat things up, but no matter how hard you tried, the only thing in your mind was Rob.

In the end, you ended up falling asleep. You knew Billy was frustrated, you could sense it, but he didn't say a word. He just wrapped you tight in his arms and fell asleep right next to you. One thing was for sure in that moment, you knew you had to find a way to fix things quickly, before any of you get hurt.


	10. Something to Say

Rob's POV

The only moment he thought about something else was when he was remembering that feeling of having Y/N in his arms and looking in her eyes again, after those few weeks of not seeing her. He felt like he wanted to tell her everything. Every little thing that was on his mind, but that thought died quickly every time he remembered how she and Billy were kissing, how his friend was doing what he couldn't, and couldn’t deny that made him sick.

It was early in the morning when Rob decided to stop drinking and go to Billy's house, where he knew would probably find them together. He had no idea what was he going to do or say. He didn't even notice the time, he just hailed a cab, told the driver where to go and there he was. Standing in front of his friend's house.

He thought about leaving, knowing that he really had to leave Y/N alone, but he couldn't forget the sparkle in her eyes when she saw him. He needed to do this. He messaged Billy, who quickly replied and was already opening the door for him to come in.

“Rob, what are you doing here?” Billy asked surprised and a bit confused.

“I- I… um… I have no idea.” Starting to laugh, he plopped down on Billy’s couch before closing his eyes. “Were you sleeping?”

“Um.. yes I was,” Billy said, not wanting to point out how obvious the answer to his question was. “Rob did something happen?”

“Y-yeah… well, no. actually yes. Seriously, William, have you- have you ever been so in l-love with som-someone that you just…” he stopped talking and made signs with his hands as if something he was thinking about was just mind-blowing.

“I guess” Billy answered, suspecting where he was getting at. “Are you in love?”

“Very, deeply, Bu-but she, you see, she, she's kind of with you now,” Rob said, starting to laugh again. 

Billy looked back at his friend, a bit uncomfortable, now that he noticed who Rob was talking about. 

“I love her, Billy. I-I know, maybe, her heart is somewhere else, but I love her so much.” He continued as he got up and started to walk to the kitchen, with Billy following right behind him. “Have you- have you seen her, buddy? She’s got that amazing smile and she’s just so beautiful. You- you’re such a lucky man, pal.” 

Letting out a sigh, he poured himself a glass of water and took a drink. Billy however, was kind of paralyzed. Rob was basically confessing his love for the girl who was, in that moment sleeping in his bed, and that was awkward to say the least.

“Why don't you try to get some sleep, buddy,” he said, patting Rob on the shoulder. Actually starting to get concerned about the state of his friend and what was he saying.

“You think? It’s just I- I wanted to talk to you, Billy. I'm sorry, but i love Y/N and I don't know what to do anymore.”

Setting his glass on the counter he walked back over to the couch and sat down, before dropping his head.

“Just tell her, Rob. She will understand you,” Billy said, relaxing just a bit.

He always suspected that Rob was in love with her and he was sure that she was in love with him as well. He just thought that maybe being with other people might help them figure things out. Whatever decision they came to in the end. 

When Rob had talked to him about Y/N, that day after their fight, he felt relief knowing that maybe he could have a chance, but when Rob started talking about her almost 24 hours a day, he knew he had nothing to do in the middle of both of them.

“Tell her? She hates me!” Rob exclaimed, turning and putting his hands on Billy’s shoulders. “But you William, with you she is….” He stopped for a minute and this confused, almost sad expression formed on his face. “With you she is happy?” 

“Yeah. I mean I guess she is, but she is missing you.” 

With a smile, Rob laid back on the couch. 

“I wrote a song for her tonight Billy, another one,” he said as he shifted, trying to get a good position. “You go to sleep and I will tell you all about it tomorrow.”

Billy was laughing, but at the same time he was feeling strange and sad. He really liked Y/N, but also knew that he couldn't do that to them. He cared about both, and he knew they were happier when they were together. 

Reader's POV

You woke up as soon as you felt the bed moving, but figuring that Billy was just going to the bathroom, you turned and tried to go back to sleep, only to wake up a few minutes later when you heard the front door being closed. You sat up in the bed, trying to find the will to stand up to see what was Billy doing and that’s when you heard Rob’s voice. Rob was there. What the hell was he doing there?

Being careful not to make a sound, you moved slowly across the room to the door. You of course, weren't about to show up, but were really curious about what was happening out there. You would be lying if you said you didn't like the way he looked that night with his new haircut and how his eyes seemed to be yelling for you, but you knew that part was all in your mind. 

As you listened you noticed Billy was almost whispering, but Rob was anything but quiet, with his laughter and incoherent babbling. He was obviously drunk and drunk Rob often had the potential to be quite funny. You started to smile as you remembered all the times you and Rob spent wasted together. He was usually the not that bad one, so that meant he always had your back.

As you tried to focus back on their conversation you heard “I love her Billy” and just like that, you became almost lasered focus. “Wow, that new girl Lily, was already that important for him?” you thought to yourself. He was describing this girl as if he had been in love with her for so long and you didn't ever registered in his life before.

Still you kept listening, a bit jealous, you had to admit. What did that girl do to drive him so crazy? By the way he spoke about her, you knew he was being honest, and if he was talking to Billy about it, the whole thing was really serious, even if he was drunk.

When Billy told him to sleep, you figured Rob would be done talking, and just before you start to walk away from the door, you heard what would change your life, forever.

“You think? It’s just I- I wanted to talk to you, Billy. I'm sorry, but i love Y/N and I don't know what to do anymore.” 

Your eyes widened and your hand flew to your mouth to muffle the inevitable gasp. Your heart started beating so fast, that you were sure they would be able to hear you. You tried, but honestly couldn't listen anymore. All you did was lay in bed, not believing what you just heard, not believing that Rob was telling Billy that he was in love with you. You had just heard what you had wanted to hear for so long and you couldn't help but start crying. 

With everything you had been through, how come he never told you? Why did he wait until you were with someone to confess this? Your mind was racing with thoughts, both positive and negative. 

It was when you heard Billy's footsteps that you knew you needed to slow down and tried to make it look like you were asleep. You pulled the blankets all the way up to your head, the movement of the bed being the only signal you had of Billy rejoining you. After that, there was a lot of movement, and sighing, as Billy unsuccessfully tried to go to sleep, and it wasn’t too long before you, eventually fell asleep.

_________

When you opened your eyes, you checked your phone and noticed it was 11:05am. Rolling over you found the spot next to you empty and smiled. For a moment, your crazy mind made you think it was Rob the one lying next to you, and all of a sudden, everything came back to you. Billy’s late night conversation with Rob, ended with Rob confessing that he was in love with you. 

Getting up you changed your clothes and went to the bathroom to wash your face and fix your hair. Billy wasn't normally a noisy person, but there wasn't a single sound coming from outside the room. A bit scared, of who you were going to find, you gingerly walked out of Billy’s bedroom to find him, jacket in one hand and his other hand on the door. 

“Billy?” you questioned, stepping out into the living room. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Oh hey Y/N, I’m sorry, I was just going to go run some errands, but you seemed to be out cold, so I didn’t want to wake you.”

You thought about bringing up what you had heard last night, but still didn’t know how to feel about it all. After all, Rob had been plastered. There was a strong possibility, his confession was nothing more than the alcohol talking, and if that was the case, there was no need to jeopardize what might be between you and Billy.

“Since you’re up, would you like to come with me?” he asked, interrupting your thoughts.

“I appreciate the offer,” you replied with a smile. “But I think I’m just going to go home. I should probably call Bri and make sure she got home okay.”

That wasn’t a complete lie, but it also wasn’t the truth either. After they way her and Jason hit it off, you were going to want to find out the details of their night sooner or later, but truth be told you just couldn’t face Billy, with how messed up your heart and head felt.

As soon as you crossed the door to your house that day, you went straight for the couch, just to sit there, the moment you heard Rob saying he loved you on repeat in your head as you stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. Rob is in love with me. With me. This fucking asshole, couldn't’ve said something, earlier? So we didn't have to get to this point. 

Right in that moment you heard knocking at your door. All of your senses becoming alarmed. What if it was Rob? What were you going to tell him? Of course it was no shock that you were overthinking things again, and when you heard the voice of the person from the other side, you immediately relaxed. 

Quickly getting up, you ran over and opened the door. 

“Hey beautiful,” Briana stated casually, as she leaned against the doorframe. 

“Hey you, come in!” you exclaimed, stepping aside, so she could come in and place herself on your sofa. 

Closing the door, you hurried over to sit down next to her and once you did, she wasted no time. “So y/n, how was it last night?” 

You raised your eyebrow and looked at her with curiosity. 

“It was...okay?” You replied, unsure of what she really wanted to hear.

“So, all is well with Billy?”

“Yes… why are you asking? What do you wanna know?” 

You knew she wanted to say something just as much as you wanted to tell her something.

“Okay, well, last night Rob was clearly trying to get your attention, and you were almost just as bad,” she blurted out. “Seriously, you two need to talk because you couldn't be more obvious. Everybody noticed, even Billy too, I bet. Then the way he gripped onto your arms, and the look he had in his eyes? After you left, the girl Lily left too and he just sat there and drank. You don't-” 

Briana was talking about the whole thing, very passionately, and you knew you needed to tell her what you had heard.

“He's in love with me Bri,” you said, interrupting her and causing a wide smile to spread across your face.

“That's obvious, Y/N. You just noticed?” 

Taking a moment to try to process things, you took a deep breath and let it out.

“I noticed last night, but not at the bar, he showed up at Billy's and told him that he… that he's in love with me and he doesn't know what to do anymore.” 

Covering her mouth she began to laugh. “Holy shit, girl!!! How come you've been best friends since… forever and you both just now started to realize?” She shook her head. “You really need to go and talk to him.” 

Standing up, she took a hold of your hands trying to get you to stand as well, but you got free of her grasp, and sat right back down.   
“I can't. What about Billy?” You asked, feeling guilty and sad at the same time because now he was in the middle of all this.

“Rob told Billy he's in love with you, Y/N, but Billy is not dumb, and sorry for breaking the news, but it's obvious you like Rob too. Haven't you talked to him today, anyways?” 

“No, I only saw him briefly because he was leaving and I woke up late.” Before you continued you noticed she had your phone and was typing away. “I’m sorry, but Briana, what are you doing?”

“Give me a second,” she said, pointing one index finger at you as she typed away. “Okay, you're meeting Billy at the Starbucks at 5pm. You'll go and talk to him and then... you'll talk to Rob.” 

You looked at her, mouth agape, in disbelief. “I can't. I-”

“You can and you will. You need to talk with Billy. Come on, Y/N. This girl I am with now is not the same girl I met months ago, and now I understand why. You both were in this “friendship” of some sort and when feelings got mixed, you got scared, that's all.”

For a brief moment you became slightly agitated that she was making it sound so simple, but the more you thought about, the more you realized she was right. Now that you knew that Rob was feeling the same way, things had to change. 

After that, she stayed to help you get ready to meet Billy. You talked about Rob and how things were when you were friends. Remembering all of that, eased your mind a bit and helped you to come to another important realization. It was time. You were ready to talk to Rob.


	11. Are You Ready, Steady On?

You were nervous, no, not nervous, you were panicking. You didn't even know what were you doing, it was like gravity had pulled you to this place and you hadn’t even noticed where it was until after you had already knocked on Rob’s door. Once you came to that realization, you thought about making a run towards the elevator, but it was too late.

“Y/N?” 

As soon as he opened the door and his blue eyes met yours, the smile that formed on his face acted as an invite into his arms. An invite to hug him tight, where you would lay your head on his shoulder and breathe in his smell, as his arms tightened around you.

“I've missed you,” you choked out. Those were the only words you could even get to form. 

“I've missed you too, y/n." 

His beard and warm lips on your skin, as he placed a soft kiss on your cheek, had you feeling weak already. Once inside you sat down on his couch, watching him as he walked into the kitchen, bringing two beers back with him, and offering you one. It had been so long since you were together like this, and you missed it.

“So, how are you?” He asked when finally sat down next to you.

“I’m… I’m good. How are you?” You were so nervous. It felt as if this was the first time you were meeting him, and that was a strange feeling. 

“Well, pretty good now that you're here.” 

He wasn’t taking his eyes off of you, and it was making the already difficult task of forming words, even more difficult.  
“It’s just I really, really wanted to see you, and i need to know.” Stopping he looked down for a minute, than looked back up at you. “Why did you just… you just disappeared, and I can't understand it.”

“I know Robbie, and that’s why I think it’s time I’m honest with you.” 

Clearing your throat, you ran a hand over your face, trying to put all your courage together to tell him how you feel and when you looked back over at him, you could tell those blue eyes were pleading for you to say something. 

“I… uh.. well…” Stopping, you took a deep breath and let it out. “You know how you asked me if I was acting strange because I was in love with someone, and you noticed because that was how I acted the last time?”

He nodded

“Yes. I thought you had fallen for another asshole, but Billy isn't an asshole,” he replied with a cute little smile, causing you to let a little laugh.

“Rob… it wasn't Billy,” you replied, shaking your head. 

You didn't know if you were ready, but that damn smile had you more convinced than ever, so you knew you just had to spit it out. 

“I never liked Billy like that,” you continued. “I mean I did, but just as a friend. I… I was acting strange because I didn’t know how to hide my feelings, the feelings I was having for you. I’m in love with you Rob.” 

There it was. Everything was out in the open. For the longest time, He just sat there staring at you like he didn’t believe what you were saying. He smiled, then quickly looked away, before shooting up and starting to walk away. Meanwhile you sat there feeling stranger than ever. Do you keep talking? Do you run? You didn’t know what to do, but you knew you needed him to say something.

“But… you're with Billy now,” he continued. “Besides, we're just friends.”

You went to speak, but nothing came out. After his confession last night, his answer was not what you expected. You finally decided to tell him all about your conversation with Billy. About how he told you that he didn’t want to keep you from the person your heart truly belongs to. After that you couldn’t help but notice the look on Rob’s face. In all the years that you had known him, this was the first time you couldn’t decipher what was going on in his mind. 

“What? Why? You were fine with Billy, a-and you can't just go from him to me as if you are trying to see which one fits better!” 

That was the problem with Rob. He always talked before thinking, and he always regretted it instantly. Of course this was one of those times and even if he didn’t yet, he was going to be regretting how that just sounded. 

“That's the only thing you have to say?” you asked, eyes full of tears, fighting hard not to break down or storm out. “Basically, I'm just a slut to you.”

“I never said that y/n. I'm just saying that you acted too soon. Plus, what makes you think that I feel the same way?” 

That’s when you realized what he was doing. 

“Do you think I didn't hear you talking with Billy the other night? Why did you decide to go to him and tell him that you are in love with me? Why did you do that Rob?” 

Your tears started to fall, but you quickly wiped them away. You had a mix of emotions and had no clue how to manage them. 

“I was drunk Y/N!” he blurted out quickly. 

You noticed right away that he was protecting himself, lying to not confess his real feelings. Now it wasn’t that you wanted him to give in easily, but you didn’t expect this reaction either.

You were crying freely by now, feeling like an idiot.   
You thought that everything would be alright and that you would be able to be together, but no he just had to choose the easy way out.

“So you didn't mean anything you said? Anything?” You asked, through your sobs. He walked over and tried to place himself in front of you but you stepped back, not wanting him that close to you.

“I- I don't know what I said,” he said, an almost forced look of confusion on his face.   
“I said I was...in love with you?” 

“Yes you did and you know what, it’s not the fact that you said it that bothers me, it’s the fact that you had to go and tell Billy about it. Why didn’t you just shut up?” 

The way he was acting had you disappointed and wondering once again if this was nothing more than a drunken mistake.

As he went to start speaking you interrupted him. “Rob, when you asked me if I was in love with an asshole, the only thing I was thinking about was how I was finally in love with the perfect man, but thank you for managing this so poorly, because it has made me realize you’re just the same asshole I have been trying to avoid.”

Quickly grabbing your bag, you ran out of his apartment. Once again, you left him feeling disappointed by Rob and his mixed signals, and now you were thinking about Billy too. Even though he let you know that it was alright and told you that he understood, things weren’t that easy. There’s no way things be that easy. When you arrived back to your apartment you had every intention of forgetting all about what happened, but, instead you landed in your bed and started to cry, sad, angry and disappointed.

Rob's POV

As he walked around his apartment, he felt like an idiot, The things that he said to Y/N playing on a loop in his head. Why didn't he just tell her how he felt, instead of making her cry? Why did he tell Billy? It wasn’t true what he told her. He knew very well those feelings were real, but it was easier to lie about them.

He just couldn't believe y/n was in love with him. He couldn't believe that she left Billy, just to tell him she loved him. He knew that, but he pushed her away, simply because he was scared. 

In those few minutes after she told him, his mind went through everything, every possible scenario. What if things went wrong and it ruined the friendship? What if he made a mistake and because this wasn’t the first time he had hurt her, she would decided she was better off alone? There was also the chance that everything went just right. The chance that the love you felt for eachother was so strong, so real, that you could actually be together forever.

All of those fears, mixed up with how much he wanted her, finally made him see there was only one way to find the answer to all those questions. Telling her the truth, letting all of his feelings out was a risk, more now that he decided to lie about it but maybe once everything was said and done, he would be able to let her in, and Y/N would let him in as well. 

The last couple of weeks had been so hard, between her leaving and then having to see her with Billy, but there was still one thing he was feeling guilty about. He was the person to blame for all this, and that meant he was the only one able to solve it. Grabbing his phone, he searched through the numbers until he found the one he wanted and dialed.

“Hello?” 

Hearing the voice on the other end he let out a breath, relieved, he was able to start somewhere anyways. 

“Hey William, what's happening?” 

“Hey buddy, all is good. What about you? What happened with Y/N?” Billy asked, sounding pretty enthusiastic.

“Well…” Rob thought for a second on how to give Billy the short version of how things went.

“You screwed it up, didn’t you?” Billy interrupted. 

“Yes, kind of,” he admitted. “But I want to fix it. She told me she talked to you…” 

“Yes, she did. It's seriously all okay Rob. She is a great girl and you deserve each other. It was obvious anyway.” Billy added with a laugh. An action that helped Rob to relax.

“Wait, what was obvious?” Rob asked, slightly confused. 

“That you two liked each other. Ever since we met, I always thought you were a couple. Just don't waste anymore time, Rob, go for her.” 

Billy filled him in with any information he could think of that might be able to convince you to at least talk. He apologized to Billy for getting him in the middle of all this, but he only responded again that he knew better and he knew that sooner or later you were going to end up together because you belong together.

After his conversation with Billy, Rob was filled with confidence, and headed straight to y/n’s apartment to do what he should’ve done in the first place.

Reader's POV

You were trying to understand where it had all gone wrong. How you could go from being inseparable, to being such assholes to each other. Something was definitely wrong with you both. 

Even though it was early, all you wanted was to slip into your pajamas and watch a movie, but when you heard the knocks on your door, you knew you wouldn’t be able to carry on with your plan. Thinking that it was Briana, you didn’t even think twice, and that’s probably why it was an even bigger surprise when you opened the door and found Rob standing there, with the same lost, puppy eyes he had looked at you with earlier. Those blue eyes were so beautiful, but you knew better than to let yourself start falling for him again.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, trying to seem annoyed.

“You know…” He began looking at his shoes. “I was the one who gave Aaron a punch in the face after cheating on you. That asshole.” 

His confession, actually surprised you. After all these years, you were just now hearing this? 

“Why did you do that?” 

“Why do you think? He had you and then he cheated on you, like the asshole he was. I was there, what could I do? He asked for it,” he shrugged, with a little smile.

That smile always had the power to melt your heart, you stepped aside, letting him in.  
Before you could say anything, he turned, his blue eyes fixated on yours. 

“I've always been in love with you,” He blurted out. “I've always needed you and wanted you, but I didn't want to risk losing you, and I can't do it anymore. I’m sorry, I've been nothing but a jerk to you. I- I love you Y/N.” 

Once he had finished, he let out a deep breath, like a weight had just been lifted of his chest, and just stood there, looking at you waiting for your reaction. You couldn't believe it was Rob telling you that and as you looked back at him you knew this was the right time, that this was your moment. 

Running over to him, you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him tightly against you. His arms tightened around your body, bringing you even closer to him and placed a kiss on your cheek.

“I love you, Rob. I love you so much and I was so scared too. I'm sorry for everything,” you said, through your tears. 

That was the only thing you could tell him for the time being. It was just a tiny part of how you were feeling, but it would do for now. 

Pulling out, you looked into his bright blue eyes as he wiped away your tears with his thumbs and your fingers ran over his beard. A smile spread across your face, not believing that this was you two finally together.

When you leaned back in, your lips brushed his, while his hands ran up and down your back. You were nervous, as if it was your first kiss ever, but it was your first kiss with Rob. With soft and small kisses, your hand ran through his hair. Even though it was shorter, you could still notice his soft curls. Any moment you weren’t kissing, you could see the sweetest, happiest smile on Rob’s face.

What started off as a soft kiss quickly deepened, as his tongue parted your lips. Pretty soon you found yourself lost in the sweetness of his lips and the way his beard scratched against your face, in how natural your movements seemed to be.

When that inevitable feeling of having to come up for air came, you pulled back to look at each other, both wearing big smiles. 

“I've been wanting to do that for years," he said softly.

“Me too Rob,” you answered, stealing another kiss. 

Nothing. There was nothing you wanted more, nothing you could think of that was more important than that moment. You finally had Rob in your arms. You finally had each other, just like you've always wanted. For sure there was a lot to talk about, but…You would have enough time.


	12. Got So Many hours the days are ours

“I guess we have a lot to talk about,” Rob said, still holding you close to his chest.

“I guess we do,” you responded, pulling out slowly. “Here we are making out and I haven’t even offered you a drink yet. How rude am I?”

Since he had arrived at your place, you had only managed to kiss and hold each other. You just couldn't believe you were finally with Rob. There was so much you wanted to say and do, but it was all so surreal. 

“I have an idea.” 

Taking your hands in his, he lifted your left hand and kissed the back of it, which had you melting instantly. Being at this place in your relationship meant that you were going to be able to see different sides of each other and that was very exciting already.

“Uh huh, I'm listening,” you replied with a smile. 

“Well, how about you and I go out on a date? We can be like normal people, or as normal as we can be anyway.” 

You started to laugh. Your relationship was definitely not normal.

By then Rob had joined you in laughter, blue eyes big and bright with excitement as he obviously made the same realization. Those eyes were so beautiful and somehow the brightness they held when he was excited made them even more beautiful, and you couldn’t help but to lean in and place a soft kiss to his lips. Looking into those blue orbs always had you wanting to kiss him and now you didn’t have to hold the urge anymore. 

“A date. I like that idea,” you answered with a nod. “But being that we are indeed not normal, how do we do this?” 

“Mmm… How about I go back to my apartment while you get ready, and I’ll come back for you at…” Trailing off, he stopped and thought about it for a second. “7:30. I’ll come and pick you up at 7:30.” 

You couldn’t help but smile as you listened to him making plans for the two of you.

“I think that sounds perfect Robbie,” you responded, placing another soft kiss on his lips. Rob wasted no time, quickly deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms tightly around you, before pulling back to give you another big smile.

“You know, I thought it was going to be weird, being with you, kissing you, but it feels good and like… it was meant to be,” he said with a low voice, lips brushing yours as he kissed you again.

“I’ll… I’ll go ahead and head home, and I’ll see you in a little bit?” 

Resting your head back on his shoulder you hugged him, taking in his scent, that was so unique, so...Rob. “That sounds great. Besides you need to get out of here so I can obsess about what I’m going to wear, like a normal girl would do before a date.”

This got another adorable giggle out of him, as he pecked your cheek. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he said now serious and his eyes fixated on yours.

“I love you too, Rob.”

You liked how easy it was to tell him that and how right everything felt now. 

After doing your best to let him go, at least for the time being, you stood in the middle of your living room and started laughing like crazy, but you were genuinely happy for what had happened. Sure maybe you could have managed things better, but it was you and Rob afterall.

Heading into your bedroom you started to look for something to wear and since you didn't know where were you going or what were you going to do, you choose a comfortable black dress. The thing you couldn’t get over though was how even after you showered, you could still smell Rob’s scent all over your body, and you loved it. 

It seemed like the hours went by faster since Rob left and before you knew it, right at 7:30 sharp, he was at your door. On your way to open, you stopped by the mirror looking at your reflection. It was obvious he was everything you needed to feel better. Nerves filled your body once again, but all you wanted was to be with him. So putting your hand on the door handle you took a deep breath in and out and opened it. 

The sight you found on the hallway made you sure it was impossible to find a more breathtaking scene. It was a scene that made your earlier deep breath useless.

“Hi,” he said simply, holding one single white rose, a sweet and warm smile on his face that made you blush, automatically.

“Hi,” you answered suddenly, noticing that you had been so lost in how beautiful he looked leaning against the doorframe, smiling at you, that you hadn’t said a word yet. His blue eyes mixed with that smile were devastatingly beautiful and had you certain that just the sight of him had your own eyes shining brightly.

“This is for you,” he stated as he stretched his hand out and gave you the rose. “I know you like white roses, but I also know you don't like a bunch of flowers, so I thought one was okay. Is this okay? I mean-”

“Rob!” you interrupted. “You're babbling, and I love it.”   
Getting closer, you brushed your fingertips over his beard, and kissed him softly. As he returned the kiss, his arm snaked around your waist, and your hands went down to his chest, which drew your attention to the fact that he was wearing a tie. You smiled under his lips, as you remembered picking him out a similar tie, that first day everything had started.

“You are looking absolutely gorgeous and adorable, you know?” He asked, your forehead against his.

“So are you, so handsome,” you said looking down and back up again. “And we're kind of matching”

Taking a step back, he looked you over your matching black and white ensemble, with a surprised look on his face. “Well, it good to know we didn’t lose our connection.”  
This time the kiss he placed on your lips was deeper, and eventually you lost track of time, while making out in your doorway. 

“Mmm,” he hummed in satisfaction, pulling back to look at you. “I would love to stay here all night, but we should really get going, don’t you think?” 

Nodding you pecked a kiss on his cheek. “Just give me a second.” 

Running over to the kitchen, you put your rose on water and grabbed your bag, before going to the door again, locking it, and facing him. “Okay I'm ready now.”

“Good,” he said as he grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his.

On your way to the elevator small talk was made, but no time was wasted. Once in there, the short trip from your floor to the lobby, was spent with Rob nibbling and kissing your neck and jaw.   
Once outside, he opened the door to his car to let you in. It was no secret that Rob was a gentleman, but now that you were with him, as boyfriend and girlfriend, those gestures had you melting, and not being able to stop looking at him or admiring him. To you he was perfect. 

The drive to the restaurant was just like it used to be. Silent, but not uncomfortable at all. You were surprised when he pulled up at the door of a very fancy restaurant in LA. Neither one of you were the biggest fans of those places, but you knew he was going to try and impress you for some reason.

After he pulled the car you watched him as he took off his leather jacket and threw it on the back seat. You loved how the white shirt and the black tie looked on him. It brought back memories for you and was definitely a good way to turn you on. 

“So, we are eating here?” You asked, as you looked through the car window.

“Y-yeah I guess we are. I know we don't usually come to these kind of places, but I want to do things right. I want to spoil you as much as I can and I want to do some normal stuff, so we start this relationship in a good way.” 

Smiling, you nodded indicating that you understood what he meant, and he made his way over to you, where your lips met once again. Your hands cupped his face, and one of his hands made its way under your dress to caress your thigh. The sensation that action brought, caused you to get goosebumps, and a small moan to escape from your lips. This got that famous boyish grin to form on his face.

“You seemed to like that,” he said, as he kissed your jaw and neck.

“Well, you'll get to see what I like when we get there.”   
You enjoyed feeling him so close like that, but you still weren't sure about that part.

“Maybe we should forget all of this and go home so you can show me everything you like.” 

You felt his hand playing with the waistband of your underwear and your body had once again started to respond to his touch.

“Oh Rob,” you said softly feeling him smile against your skin, his sneaky hand teasing you more. “but no. Let's take it slow." 

Removing his hand, you stopped the whole game, but you could tell by his smile that he was planning on breaking you. It was just going to come down to the right time.

“Okay then, let’s eat,” he whispered in your ear, before sneaking a quick kiss on your cheek.

As you both walked inside the restaurant, you found that was packed. That's why you didn't like those places, there were always tons of people and even though you had reservation, some sort of problem would always pop, and that night was no exception, but because of how hard you knew Rob had tried to make things special you weren’t about to say anything.

“Mr Benedict, I'm afraid you'll have to wait for a couple of minutes until we have an empty table.” 

You could tell he got a bit annoyed and was ready to say something to the women.

“We'll wait, it's okay Rob,” you said in his ear.

“But…” He began to protest, but once he felt you squeeze his hand, he stopped.

“We can wait, don't worry about it,” you added, kissing his cheek. “Just relax. It’s not like we have anything to do, so let's just talk and wait.” 

Smiling in response, you lead him over to sit down in the waiting area.

“Okay, well I do need to ask you some things, Y/N.” Looking down, he started stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. “Like for example, when did you know you were in love with me?” 

You giggled and looked down, feeling your face hot already “Well, it was- it was the night of the first Louden Swain concert.” 

He looked at you surprised. “What? It’s been going on for that long?”

“I mean I always liked you, It was just that I hadn’t realised how much until that night,” you admitted with a shrug.

“And you never thought of saying something? Anything?” 

In that moment you started to panic, thinking that any one of your answers could ruin things.

“I was scared, and with how excited you were to meet girls and stuff, I thought that you would always see me as a friend. When did you know that you liked me anyway?”

“When you stopped coming to my apartment every morning and distanced yourself from me.” You were honestly shocked with how fast and easy his confession flew out. “Then I wanted to tell you about it, but I was the one who made the whole Billy thing up.”

“The whole Billy thing? What do you mean?” you asked, confused, while you started to play with his bracelets.

“Uhm…Oh… Well… After I noticed that you were avoiding me, I went to Billy. I just really needed someone to talk and then-”

“Mr Benedict, your table is ready.” 

You didn't know how you had looked at the girl who interrupted you right in that moment, but she looked so guilty and softly muttered a “sorry.”

“Okay, thank you,” Rob said quickly getting up, holding your hand as you walked behind him. 

Once you sat and ordered some drinks to start, he started to look at the menu.

“Hey I didn't forget,” you said smiling, causing him to look up at you. “The Billy thing…” 

You were waiting for him to get the hint and continue talking, when he finally closed his menu and started again.

“Okay when I had my talk with Billy he suggested that maybe your head was somewhere else and you didn't want to tell me. I thought about that and so…” Stopping, he waited for a minute and shifted as if he were uncomfortable. ”I may have told Billy that you were kind of into him. I just needed to know for sure, but I didn't know how to face you and tell you how I felt. It’s just we always told each other everything, and when that stopped I got desperate.” 

Taking a sip of your water, you tried to let what he said sink in.

“So… by telling Billy you thought you would be able to figure out if I was into him or not?” 

He nodded.

“It was childish, but I was scared, you know?” he confessed finally.

“And what if I really was into Billy and not you?” 

“Well, I would’ve had to suck it up. I mean I had to admit that I was shocked when I saw you with him, that night I realised that my “plan” worked and the results weren't on my favor,” he said with a small smile.

Reaching out, across the table, you took his hands in yours.

“The night at the Louden Swain concert, when you left with that girl…” You just had just started talking, when you heard screaming, and looked towards the kitchen to find smoke seeping out in the dining room.

“What the hell?” Rob questioned.

“Would everyone please follow me to the exit,” the hostess, yelled as she signaled towards the door. Trying to keep calm, Rob held your hand, and you grabbed your purse, before following the lady out the door.

“There's fire in the kitchen, but the firefighters are on their way,” you heard a girl in the background say.

Looking over at you, Rob started to laugh. “I’m thinking this is a sign that we shouldn’t have to come to this place today. Let's get out of here.” 

Joining him in laughter, you walked away, side by side, exchanging small, but heated kisses, until you arrived at a park down the street.

“So, tell me what happened with Billy,” Rob said, as you both sat down on a bench.

“First you need to finish telling me about that girl from the concert,” you shot back.

“Okay, so that night I was going to put my “plan” into action, which was trying to get you and Billy together, but then I met this girl, she is an agent of a record label, and I was honestly trying to get to her somehow. What happened later though, I did not see it coming.”

“What do you mean?”

“Our fight” he sighed and looked down. “I shouldn't have treated you the way I did, I was just upset because you talked about Billy, but I didn't mean what I told you. Ironically, you are, in fact, the centre of my universe.” 

You knew it was honest, because he said that looking right into your eyes, without blinking, not even once.

“I love you, Rob” you said, leaning forward to kiss him passionately, and running your fingers through the curls on the back of his neck to pull him closer to you. He smiled and hummed happily against your lips.

“Okay, so here goes another question” he said pulling out, holding your hand and kissing it softly, you smiled and blushed. “Why didn't you come out that night at Billy's home and said something?” 

“Well…” you thought for a while. “I was quite shocked you know? I mean the whole situation was crazy, you were there and… I- I only cried a lot” you said looking down, remembering that moment.

“I was drunk but not so drunk. I really thought it was the only way because I couldn't see you with Billy, and when I bumped into you on the dancefloor, I almost...I really like you and I love you, I know I do love you so much, Y/N” he said, lifting your chin and holding it with his thumb and index finger. Getting close to your mouth, placing soft small kisses. “I love you” he repeated and kissed you again.

You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Getting lost in his touch and the way you were kissing.

Suddenly, you started to feel drops falling from your hair to your nose, getting lost between your lips and Rob's. It wasn’t until you felt the rain falling heavier that he pulled out and placed his forehead against yours as you both smiled.

“I think I've chosen the worst day to take you on a date.” 

Extending his hand he helped you stand, and you immediately placed your lips back on his.

“I seriously can't ask for anything better. I love you, Rob” you began to walk out of the park, under heavy read falling all over your dress and his white shirt but you couldn't think of something more beautiful than that.


	13. If This Is The Day, Just Let it Beat

After running from the park and the rain, you ended up having dinner in a small restaurant nearby. You kept talking and having a good time with Rob. Actually losing track of time, until you were being kicked out of the restaurant. 

It was amazing how much you could talk about everything and be completely honest about what was happening. You did owe it to each other, after all.

“Okay, my place or your place?” Rob asked fingers of one hand hovering over the elevator buttons while the other held your hand.

“Mmm... yours,” you decided and he placed a chaste kiss on your lips.

You knew you looked very much like a teenage couple while you walked through the corridor to Rob's apartment, and with that feeling in your stomach, the butterfly feeling as people like to say, you really felt like a teenager, and completely lost on that man next to you. 

Opening the door to his apartment he let you in first, where you sat down on the couch and took off your shoes, stretching and smiling when you noticed he was sitting down next to you. You had missed being at his place, so the idea that you were there with him relaxing after your date, was one that you loved. 

“Wanna watch a movie and eat some popcorn?” He asked. You knew for a fact that even if you said no, he would bring popcorn anyway. 

“Yeah why not?” you replied with a small smile. 

“Okay, I will go make it, you pick the movie.” 

Standing up, he placed a soft kiss on your lips before heading to the kitchen. You closed your eyes, loving the feeling of his face next to yours and the taste of his lips. Really it was Rob that you loved.

Mindlessly scrolling through Netflix you were looking for a movie, but in your head you were thinking about what was going to happen that night. It wasn't that you didn't want Rob, because you did, a lot actually, but you were starting to get nervous that you were moving too fast. You knew you needed to go step by step and that you had to be honest to him. When you thought about all that you talked about that night, however, you knew you could be honest to each other and that eased your mind a bit.

That’s when another thought suddenly hit you. What if you weren’t good enough for Rob? What if you sucked in bed and that made him decided he didn’t like you? Starting to panic you went back to picking a movie and tried to get your mind out of that place. 

“So we’re watching a drama?” Rob asked, looking at what you selected and back at you. 

You shrugged and smiled. “I give up. I don't know how to pick a movie.”

Pouting, you handed him the remote, which he took, sitting down next to you and reading over what the movie you had picked was about. 

“It could do,” he said.

“Yes?” 

“Yeah! Let's watch it. Here, have some popcorn.” 

Putting the bowl between you, he pressed play, and stretched his legs out onto the coffee table, while you decided to pull your knees up and snuggle next to him.

The movie seemed okay, but you honestly weren't paying attention. Many times you found yourself admiring how he was eating or looking at his eyes, his beard, and all those other features that you loved about him. Half way into the movie, he started to change positions, and you noticed it was a way to tell you that he wasn't going to wait or go slow. You knew how that worked, you knew how the touchy feely guys sudden get playful. In this case you ran out of popcorn, and Rob loved his popcorn, so that distracted him.

“Oh damn,” he turned the bowl upside down. “Should I go make more?” He asked softly.

“If you want more…” you suggested, trying to see where he was trying to get.

“I can survive,” he said putting the bowl on the coffee table and bringing you closer to him, stroking your arm.

He focused on the movie again and you did too, but it was soon later that your point was proven as he started to nibble at your neck, one hand wrapped around you, and the other one rubbing your stomach slowly. You kept shifting positions trying to focus back on the movie. It wasn’t that you didn’t like what he was doing but you honestly didn’t know what to do.  
“I don't-” he said against your skin, stopping to place a path of kisses from your cheek to your collarbone. “I don't want to disrespect you but…” 

You felt in that moment how he sucked a mark, leaving the feeling of the pressure of his lips against your skin.

“Rob, it’s just...” You let out a humm of satisfaction which he stopped by placing his lips on yours.

“It's just what?” he said pulling out, his lips brushing yours as he placed small kisses one after the other.

“Why don't we-” you tried to talk but the pressure of his lips weren't letting you and you didn't want to let them either. You smiled because you were loving it, to say the least.

“No, I don't think so,” he replied, pulling out slightly, again. “We waited long enough, baby, don't you think?” 

His blue eyes were fixated on yours, and you knew he was right. You have waited long enough for this and that’s when you decided to shut your mind off and start enjoying your time with him.

Once you started kissing him back, it deepened quickly. Your lips parted and soon every movement was in sync. His hand slowly made its way under you dress, stroking your skin, as you ran your hands over his chest all the way down to his covered bulge that was growing quickly. He let out a little moan, and a deep breath signaling you that he was just as nervous as you were.

Without stopping the kiss, you moved slowly to straddle him, your legs on the sides of his waist. Moving down you placed kisses all over his collarbone, which prompted him to nuzzle into your neck, his beard scratching at your skin. You felt how he pressed up against you, desperately wanting to feel you, so you wrapped your arms around his shoulder to pull him closer, letting out a soft moan in his ear. Pretty soon the kissing was accompanied by slow grinding movements, that left you feeling his hardness and the roughness of fabric against your thighs.

“W- want to,” he moaned, lifting his hips up against you. 

“Yes, i do” you replied quickly. You didn't know what exactly he wanted, but you didn't care either. You'd follow Rob no matter what. 

Starting to laugh he stood up, placing his hands on your butt to lift you up and finally wrapping them around your waist, all while he was kissing you. Meanwhile you held on tight and kissed him back, enjoying every second of it. He pushed the door open and placed you at the edge of the bed on your knees, while he was standing in front you, still kissing you as you slowly undid his tie.

Apparently he didn't want to wait much, as his fingers started slowly to play over your underwear, pressing right where you needed it, getting you wetter than you already were. Following his lead you sneaked your hand inside his pants. 

All the movements from that moment on became softer. Your lips never left each other as Rob’s hands gently praised your skin, his fingertips traveling over your arms and shoulders as he removed your dress, before laying you on his bed. Apparently the excitement of the moment had you slightly unaware of how much space was on the bed because when he lifted you to scoot you up the bed, your head hit the headboard with a loud thud. Immediately, he started to panic but you didn’t care, you just wanted to be with him. 

His cool lips made contact with your heated skin, causing you to get goosebumps as he kissed your neck and chest. Slowly you took off his shirt and throw it to the other side of the room. Caressing his skin softly, you started to smile knowing that he was yours, finally. You loved the time he was taking with every single spot on your body. Kissing you everywhere he could, and you loved how you could rake your fingers through his curls to bring him even closer to you. 

Suddenly, he pulled out, sitting up on his knees to look at you, flashing a big smile. “You have no idea how beautiful, how fucking Beautiful you are Y/N.”

Leaning forward, he placed himself back on top you and kissed you sweetly. You ran your fingers through his beard before wrapping your arms around him, so they could move up and down his back. In that moment it was as if you could feel every single movement in his body by touching it. His skin was as hot as yours, his arms… oh…His arms, were holding you tight against him, like if he didn't want to let you go ever again.

What was meant to be step by step, “not so fast”, ended up being a very heated night, a night that let you both a panting mess on Rob's bed. Hidden under his sheets, kissing each other, touching each other, as if you couldn't believe that you were actually together. 

You could confirm that it was the most amazing night you've ever had in your life. The most passionate, loving, and beautiful moment you've ever had with Rob. You used to love each other as friends but the way you felt about each other in that moment, simply made sense. You just fit, like the last missing piece of the puzzle, as if life put you both together because you were always meant to end up like this.

You were trying to recover, trying to make your heart return to its normal rhythm when you felt Rob's soft lips on your arm. Placing small kisses that were making you smile.

“That was a good way to say that we must go slow,” Rob joked, smiling against your skin.

“Mhm, you're right. I'm glad you didn't listen to me.” 

Slowly laying back on the bed, returning to his spot so you were laying right next him, arm wrapped around his chest as you ran your fingers up and down his arm and looked right into those blue eyes, that were radiating with a glow that you have only seen on special occasions when he was genuinely happy.

“I’m sorry about hitting your head against the headboard,” he said, laughing softly.

“It was obvious that something like that would happen to us,” you replied, joining him laughing. “But you know that nothing, absolutely nothing will make me forget about today, Rob.”

Stretching your neck up, you placed a kiss on his forehead.

“You enjoyed it? Even if the date was frustrating and the sex was violent?” he joked, softly rubbing the front part of your head, where you got hit. “After today you'll probably get a cold from the rain, food poisoning from that place we went to eat and a bump on your head. I'm such a bad guy”

This time you moved down to kiss his lips. You enjoyed how every time when your lips crashed against his, he would wrap his arms around you to press you tightly against him.

“You know” you murmured before he pulled out. “I think that after today, I'm a lucky woman who got the most beautiful man in the world.” 

“Really? I'm not an asshole then?” He asked looking down at you quirking an eyebrow, something that every time he did it, drove you crazy.

“You're not, I am sorry about saying that, I was just mad at you,” you confessed.

“Yeah I noticed, that was fair though, I should have told you the truth.” 

“It's all in the past now, Robbie. I love you and you know I do now.” 

“I do too, I've always loved you in a way that even the guys thought wasn't normal.” Shifting so he was propped up on his elbow, he got this serious look on his face. “I need to ask you something. Why did you date Billy if you didn’t like him? Why didn’t you just tell me?” 

“I thought you didn't care about me and that night I saw you leaving with that girl, it was all over, you broke my heart.” Seeing how he looked down after that, broke your heart in that moment. “Billy was there and from that moment I thought that maybe it wasn't that bad after the way I felt and all… until the night at the bar, i really never imagined you were into me, Rob.”

“Seriously? With all the time we spent together you never imagined that I could fall in love with you? You are the most beautiful woman i've ever seen, and i mean it.” 

“And you're the most beautiful, sweet and loving guy I've ever met. I love all of you Rob,” you said leaning forward and pressing your forehead against his while stroking his cheek.

“I love all of you too, Y/N. If we had just known.”

Laying in bed, you let the tiredness fall over you both, falling asleep several minutes later. He had fallen asleep first and you shortly after. After realising that you were finally sleeping next to the man you loved. That night you found out that you and Rob were meant to be and that it was just a matter of time until you were where you belong.


End file.
